The Ultimate List Of 70th Birthday Gifts For Men And Women To Celebrate The Big 7-0

Updated: Oct 05 2022
The Ultimate List Of 70th Birthday Gifts For Men And Women To Celebrate The Big 7-0
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Turning 70 is a big deal and you'll find the perfect gift for women and men that are hitting that milestone on this list of 70th birthday gifts. Start planning now and make their 70th birthday party the best one yet with gold, bold, and glittery 70th birthday decorations, cake toppers, hilarious birthday cards, and big banners to show everyone in the neighborhood where the party is at. Even if you're keeping the celebration a little smaller than the whole 'hood, you can with mom, dad, or your grandparents a happy 70th birthday with a unique personalized gift like an etched wine glass, a funny 70th birthday gag gift, or a present to help them relax and make them feel young and spry at 70 years. This list of gift ideas has 70th birthday presents that are timeless classics, like golf balls and knitting supplies, as well as items that will help a senior expand their mind, find a new hobby, or make their daily lives a little easier. Check them all out to find ideas for women, ideas for men, and maybe an idea or two you'll put on your own wish list of 70th birthday ideas to hand to your friends and family when you reach your own big day.

You're Only Old Once!: A Book for Obsolete Children

Seniors feeling a little salty about the big 7-0 will crack a big smile after reading You're Only Old Once, it's just what Dr. Seuss ordered. It's written to brighten up the day of anyone that's a kid at heart but a little older in body.
$10 .79

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Read All About It 70th Party Sign

This poster is as much for a newly-minted 70-year-old as it is for the younguns at the party. The birthday boy or girl will enjoy reminiscing over the facts and figures listed on the pretty gold poster and find plenty of places to start a conversation with younger folks at the shindig.
$12 .99

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Senior Moments Aging Disgracefully

Age ain't nothing but a number, but seventy might be officially over the hill. Have a laugh at getting holder with Senior Moments: Aging Disgracefully. The book is full of hilarious cartoons about getting older and having some fun along the way.
$10 .99

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70 Things to Do When You Turn 70

Give a seventy-year-old some goals with 70 Things to Do When You Turn 70. The book features the stories of seventy people who've reached the big milestone to show the birthday boy or girl that you're never too old to make a difference in your life or in the world.
$16 .95

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The Book Of Myself DIY Autography

At seventy, the birthday boy or girl has probably seen some stuff, done some stuff, and amassed a number of fascinating stories to tell. With The Book of Myself's 201 questions as a guide, they can be the author of their own autobiography. It's sure to become a hotly recommended read among the family.
$13 .65

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Uh Oh Emergency Underpants

At seventy, they're too young for depends but too old to trust a sneeze after a cup of coffee, and that's why you should poke fun at them with the gift of emergency underpants. Inside the lightweight tin is a pair of clean tighty-whiteys that fit most adults.
$7 .15

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I'm Too Young To Be Seventy: And Other Delusions

A septuagenarian in denial will feel a little better about the big 7-0 after reading through Judith Viorst's I'm Too Young to be Seventy. Filled with anecdotes, reflections, and advice, the book is a solid reminder that the best is yet to come, not what was left behind.
$8 .72

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Senior's Texting Code Mug

Older kids these days have their own strange language of abbreviations and it's important for the younger folks to know what they're saying. With this hilarious mug, you'll be clued into their secrete language and they'll be howling with laughter or ROFLACGU (see mug for definition).
$15 .99

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Vintage Candy Co. 70th Birthday Set

Kids these days don't understand how good they have it with infinite options for sweets in the store. Throw it back to a simpler time with the gift of this 70th Birthday set of candies. All their favorite from when they were little, like Necco wafers and wax bottles are tucked neatly inside the large box.
$49 .99

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Sh*t I Can't Remember Password Journal

Whether you're 70 or 17, no one can remember all the passwords they have to remember these days. After explaining why a password should never be "password" give a 70-year-old this hilariously helpful Sh*t I Can't Remember Password Journal to help them keep their logins straight. While you're at it, get one for yourself.
$5 .65

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70th Birthday Signable Frame

A sweet message, funny anecdote, or well wishes from everyone that came to celebrate with them will make a seventy-year-old's birthday the best since they got a new bike as a kid. This signable frame makes a cool addition to the wall of a home office or living room and is a gift they'll always cherish.
$9 .99

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Memory Mints for Senior Moments

Peppermint is said to stimulate the memory, so help a 70-year-old get those synapses firing with a tin of Memory Mints for Senior Moments. They might not be able to prevent senior moments, but they sure will make them taste better.
$4 .94

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I Wrote a Book About You

How do you love them? Use this book to tell them the ways. I Wrote A Book About You guides the gift-giver through a series of clever, creative, and thoughtful prompts so they can write a book dedicated to their favorite person.
$14 .83

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Deluxe Sock Aid Sock Helper

Bending over to put on socks sucks and the danger of throwing out your back is real. With the Deluxe Sock Aid Helper, you can put your socks on while sitting up. The foam handles are easy for older hands to hold and pull on, and the device is gentle on clothes.
$9 .97

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1950 What A Year it Was: 70th Birthday Coffee Table Book

Appreciate the vintage beauty of the 1950s with this beautiful 70th birthday coffee table book. The richly illustrated book contains advertisements, news clippings, television show information, and pictures of famous folks in sports and Hollywood from that era.
$25 .00

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Poop Like A Champion Cereal

Being regular is a regular concern of anyone that's had the displeasure of having their pipes clogged. With Poop Like a Champion Cereal, a 70-year-old will double over with laughter, and get 100% of their daily fiber in 1.5 servings. The recipient will love you, but their toilet will hate you.
$13 .97

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Holy Sh*t You're 70 Toilet Paper

A smiling poo emoji makes milestone birthdays a little easier to take, and with this gag "Holy sh*t you're 70" toilet paper, a senior won't have any trouble wiping away the BS that they just don't have time any more.
$12 .99

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Acupressure Foot Massage Slippers

Getting older doesn't mean slowing down and with these acupressure foot massage slippers, the recipient will be speeding up. The nodes target pressure points on the feet so as the wearer walks, their foot pain will be soothed, their blood flow will be increased, and issues like plantar fasciitis will be relieved.
$24 .29

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70 and Fab Sash and Tiara

Coronate the queen of the party with this shiny tiara boasting her age and a cute and fun 70 and fabulous sash. The tiara is made of metal and the sash is satin, so she'll feel like royalty. She should be treated as such, so curtsy when you wish her happy birthday.
$14 .99

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1950 Remember When Cardlet

On their seventieth, give the birthday boy or girl a walk down memory lane with this 1950: Remember When Cardlet. It's got a little bit of everything notable from when they were born in the form of fascinating figures, advertisements, and newspaper snippets.
$12 .99

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Brain Games #1: Lower Your Brain Age in Minutes a Day

Give them something to do with those lowkey moments after the birthday bash with Brain Games. The collection of puzzles is engineered to keep their brains elastic and their minds sharp. Get one for yourself to get on their level.
$8 .69

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I'm 69 Plus Stemless Wine Glass

For the birthday girl who's a little hesitant about having to admit that she's 70, this wine glass is official permission for her not to. The hilarious etching will make her laugh, and after enjoying a full glass of red or white from it, she'll feel a lot younger, too.
$19 .95

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TimerCap Pill Monitor System

A 70-year-old's memory is put toward bigger and better things than remembering if they took their pills, so this TimerCap Pill Monitor system can do it for them. It's the perfect protection against accidental overdose or underdose, and in addition to the timer has a space they can write what and when they need to take the meds.
$3 .96

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Pavillion Guardian Angel

On their 70th, offer them blessings with this beautiful Guardian Angel statuette. The resin figurine holds the 70-year-old's heart in its arms and bears a sweet message of wishes and blessings at the bottom. It comes in a printed box for safe-keeping in transit.
$29 .50

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Folding Garden Kneeler and Seat

Gardening is a lowkey way to stay active and productive in later years of life, and this folding garden kneeler makes gardening a comfortable experience as well. The apparatus can transform into a seat, be lowered so the user can kneel on the pads, and has sturdy sides to aid in getting up and kneeling down.
$40 .99

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Happy 70th Birthday Flask Gift Set

Say cheers to 70 years with a stylish flask set that will have birthday revelers drinking all night long. The round, engraved flask holds 10oz of a drinker's favorite beverage. Included in the set are two shot glasses and a funnel for refilling.
$24 .99

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Reacher Grabber Tool

For the vertically-challenged, a Reacher Grabber Tool is a necessity for dealing with high shelves. For the vertically-gifted, a Reacher Grabber is great for grabbing the remote off the coffee table when they're too lazy to lean forward. The 32" tool can help anyone pick things up off the ground while protecting their back.
$9 .99

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Cheers to 70 Years Party Pack

A party isn't a party without decorations and this Cheers to 70 Years party pack is a complete set. From fluffy paper decor that hangs from the ceiling to bold black and gold banners that hang on the wall, the streamers and sparkle will make the day extra special.
$6 .99

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Bear Claw Telescopic Back Scratcher

Contorting yourself to scratch an itch past the age of 35 is a bad idea, let alone 70. Instead of risking pulling a muscle, use this telescopic bear claw back scratcher to get to those tough-to-reach spots.
$4 .69

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Old As Sh*t Sash

At 70, they qualify as old as sh*t, and that's something they should be proud of. With this comical sash adorned with everyone's favorite poop emoji, anyone that dares give the birthday princess crap can expect to get dumped on.
$6 .95

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Prescription Coffee Mug

They're Old AF and the only prescription is this coffee mug. The silly mug replicates the text style of a prescription bottle, something they're all too familiar with, and gives them the cure to brain fog: 420mL of hot coffee.
$18 .97

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Microwaveable Heated Foot Booties

Warm up their tootsies on a cold night with a pair of microwaveable heated foot booties. With a couple of minutes in the microwave, the flax filled booties will be comfortably warm. They're also infused with lavender and other herbs for a pleasing aromatherapy experience.
$33 .99

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70 Never Looked So Good Hat

This cap looks so good pops could wear it down the runway. Placed atop his balding dome, a man will proclaim to the world, and to himself when he's looking in the mirror, that even at 70 he's one fine lookin' hunk of a man.
$14 .99

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399 Games, Puzzles & Trivia Challenges

With 399 Games, Puzzles & Trivia Challenges, a senior will have a mental exercise to do every day of the year to keep their mind running smoothly until they turn 71. Even then they'll have 34 exercises left over, unless they want to make sure their brain is extra sharp and do an extra challenge three times a month.
$9 .63

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Deluxe Bingo Game Set

One of the best parts of birthdays is poking fun at the person you're celebrating. This Deluxe Bingo Set gives the gift of playing the classic over-the-hill game on their terms. They're still young and spry, and they should be able to add wine and flaunt their wild side at game night.
$25 .99

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Extra Long Handled Shoe Horn

Getting up and going no longer requires bending over to tie or put on shoes thanks to this extra-long shoehorn. At almost 3" in length, the shoehorn works with any sort of shoe and will help a senior feel more steady on their feet when heading out the door.
$27 .99

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It's Bunco Time Game Set

Between Bunco, bingo, and bridge, a senior will never run out of opportunities to hand out with their buddies and kick some card and dice game ass. This brightly colored Bunco set guarantees them a good time and has enough items for up to 12 players.
$27 .29

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Amazon Echo Show 8

At seventy, there's a good chance they're nana or papa to someone and with the Amazon Echo Show, they can say hello to the grandkids any time. That's not all, the device's angle and WiFi connectivity make it great for reading recipes in the kitchen or following along with a crafting video.
$54 .99

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Happy 70th Yard Banner

Let everyone in the neighborhood know where the party's at with this Happy 70th Yard Banner. It spans almost 13 feet in length and has copper enforced holes to hold the banner up for as long as the party keeps going.
$10 .99

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Deluxe Picnic Backpack Bag

Going on a picnic will never be as easy or luxurious as it will be when they're toting this deluxe picnic backpack bag. Its spacious interior has holders for and includes all the tableware they'll need, has a pocket on the side for a bottle of wine, and includes a blanket they can sit on.
$49 .98

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Bed of Nails Acupressure Mat

Back and neck feel like crap? Fix it with a nap on this Bed of Nails Acupressure Mat. Lay it out on the couch or floor and lay yourself on it. The mat's raised nubs will gently push into problem areas, providing a soothing, meditative, and healing experience while eliminating back and neck pain.
$98 .96

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Tile Mate Key Finder

With the Tile Mate Key Finder, the senior you love won't be late getting to the weekly bridge night because they'll be able to find their lost keys right away. By tapping an app on their phone, as long as they're within 200ft of the Tile, it'll emit a high-pitched noise that they can follow.
$39 .99

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The Grip Jar Opener

Not even young hands can twist open the top on every jar, but the Grip Jar Opener can tackle anything. With this attached to the underside of their cupboard, a senior might start buying more things in jars just to feel the satisfaction of opening them.
$14 .95

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Therapy Putty

Keep those motor skills going strong with this squishy therapy putty. Each of the four containers in the pack contains 3oz of putty with varying resistance for various strength levels. As seniors work it in their hands, they'll increase flexibility, decrease stiffness, and keep their joint health in check.
$16 .95

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DayClox Digital Calendar for Seniors

Seniors can keep the most important information close at hand and on a large display with this date clock. The clock fully spells out the name of the day to prevent confusion, has a red/blue and black/white mode, displays the full date, and shows the cycle of the day (eg morning, afternoon).
$59 .99

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Bamboo Cheese Board and Knife Set

It's not cheesy to say that this bamboo cheese board and knife set could be the vessel that delivers a spread of wonderful memories as well as a spread of wonderful food. It's perfect for a picnic or for a date night with a partner or grandchild and its genius compact design makes it easy to pack in a bag.
$41 .99

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Personal Foot Massager

Your hands would fall off before a senior got tired of you massaging their feet so give yourself a break and give them an endless massage with this personal foot massager. While they're watching the evening news, they'll slide their feet in and experience a luxurious, spa-quality massage with three customizable pressure settings and an option to add heat.
$189 .99

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This is What An Awesome 70 Year Old Looks Like Mug

If it's on a mug, it must be true, so treat the awesome 70-year-old in your life to this fun novelty mug that'll quickly work its way to the front of the cupboard for everyday use. The 11oz mug holds plenty of the joe that'll jumpstart their day.
$14 .99

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Shiatsu Back and Neck Massager

Getting older is a real pain in the neck but with this Shiatsu back and neck massager at the ready, getting older will feel downright good. With 3 speed levels, 8 rotating nodes, and a warming function, the massager kneads away aches and pains and soothes tense muscles.
$45 .99

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Ancestry DNA Heritage Kit

Curiosity doesn't lessen with age, it only gets stronger and the senior that's curious about their family's roots can learn an incredible amount about them with this Ancestry DNA Heritage Kit. With one quick cheek swab, the folks at Ancestry can trace a family's origins to over 1,000 different places.
$99 .00

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Charming 70th Bracelet

Charmed to meet 70, dahling! She'll feel beautiful and bubbly when she slips on this adjustable, glittery 70th birthday bracelet. With 6 baubles, the bracelet makes a brilliant state on her wrist and will have everyone wishing her a happy birthday.
$13 .99

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Cozy Memory Foam Slippers

You'll have a hard time getting them to leave the house after you've given them these cozy memory foam slippers. They look great on anyone's feet and feel even better. The memory foam interior conforms to feet to keep them supported and cozy, and the bottoms are anti-skid to prevent slipping.
$23 .99

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Not a Day Over Fabulous Mug

A woman of a certain age, just like this insulated tumbler, absolutely iridesces. When she's sipping from this double-walled, sweat-free cup, she'll feel the sentiment that's printed on the outside of it. Choose from 12oz or 20oz size to deliver the best beverage experience.
$8 .99

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DropStop Seat Gap Catcher

The DropStop is a senior's best weapon against wasted fries, lost change, and dropped phones. The simple foam-filled device fits seamlessly between the console and seat, sealing off even the smallest spaces anything could slide down.
$24 .99

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Audible Gift Card

A seventy-year-old that's always on the move or always losing their bifocals will love an Audible membership. They can take their audiobooks on the go without added weight or bulk from cassette tapes, and each month they can choose a new book from Amazon's incredible number of titles.
$45 .00

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iRobot Roomba E5 Smart Vacuum

When you've been vacuuming for 70 years, you shouldn't do it for a moment longer. With the Roomba iRobot, the vacuuming is taken care of forever. The smart device senses dirtier high-traffic areas and spends more time there, has sensors that keep it from falling down the stairs, and works as effectively on carpet as hard surfaces.
$399 .99

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Glitter Vintage Aged to Perfection Banner

For the woman who has aged better than the wine she likes to drink, this glitter Aged to Perfection Banner is the only thing that should be hanging up at her party. The bright and peppy rose gold is a perfect accent to other shiny decor, and the string is taut, just like her, it won't sag.
$11 .99

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Gift Card in a Cupcake Tin

At seventy, they may think they have everything, but Amazon's marketplace is a big place and they're bound to find at least five things they never knew they needed. Give them a gift card with some adorable flair by putting it in this cupcake tin.
$25 .00

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Rock Around the Clock Engraved Rock

Show up for the seventy-year-old who has always shown up for you with this rock around the clock engraved rock. The humble pocket-sized token is inscribed with a heartfelt message that will make the birthday boy or girl feel especially loved.
$29 .99

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Entryway Valet Drawer

Help a senior avoid the frustration of forgetting where their wallet, keys, phone, and other daily valuables are with this beautiful entryway valet drawer. The spacious PU leather box has room for additional items like sunglasses and watches and has a soft lining on the inside to prevent items from getting scratched.
$36 .99

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Squatty Potty Toilet Stool

You don't have to be a plumber to know that a pipe in a straight line is going to drain smoother than one without kinks and curves. The Squatty Potty turns your colon into a straight pipe, helping relieve the pressure that can contribute to irregularity. Just pop your feet up on the plastic rest and go, it's easy.
$24 .99

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Happy 70th Birthday Glitter Cake Topper

Just like the birthday boy or girl, a cake needs a crown, it's just as important as who you're celebrating. This Happy 70th Birthday Glitter Cake Topper is the perfect accent. It's styled in glittery gold, just like a real crown would be.
$3 .99

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Luxury Fleece Blanket

Whether they're napping or enjoying some Netflix, they won't be chilly when they've got this luxury fleece blanket. The oversized blanket is large enough for two, lightweight and fade-resistant, and made of easy-to-clean but extra soft microfiber.
$9 .99

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Luxurious Plush Kimono Bathrobe

After hitting the big 7-0, pants are optional around the house on the weekends, or really any time. When they're wearing this luxurious plush kimono robe, they won't feel exposed, it goes down below most people's knees, and they will feel warm and cozy even on the coldest days.
$34 .99

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AirBnb Gift Card

An Airbnb gift card is a ticket to the world for the seventy-year-old that's got a bad case of wanderlust. There are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of places they can stay around the world, and with Airbnb Experiences, they can discover new places on their journey with the help of local experts.
$100 .00

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Titleist Pro V1 Golf Balls

The course will be calling your name after you open this box of Titleist Pro V1 Golf Balls. There are a dozen in the box, so you can play 18 holes and more with top-of-the-line balls that have excellent distance and flight.
$59 .95

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Godiva Signature Truffles

Treat them to a sweet gift that's as delicious as it is beautiful with Godiva's Signature Truffles set. The master chocolatiers at Godiva have perfected the texture of the truffles as well as the addition of the subtle flavors infused in each, like tiramisu and dulce de leche.
$46 .00

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Vintage 1950 Beer Stein

A vintage 1950 beer is one that will never skunk, it only gets better with age and this fun stein is the exact trophy a seventy-year-old needs to celebrate their momentous birthday. The glass holds a full pint and is as sturdy as one you'd find in a bar; the placard on the front is cast in pewter.
$20 .00

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SpaFinder Gift Card

When you're older "ooh and aah" become "oh! and ow!" but with a SpaFinder gift card, a 70-year-old will be oohing and aahing again in no time. The card gives them access to thousands of spas treatments and merchandise nationwide, so they can choose their favorite ways to be pampered.
$100 .00

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Kindle Paperwhite

Now that they've got time to read, a 70-year-old can take a book anywhere without adding weight to their bag with a Kindle Paperwhite. The glare-free device holds thousands of books, is waterproof, a weeks-long battery life, and adjustable text to make any book friendlier to older eyes.
$129 .99

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Bridge Game Set

You'll have to give the birthday boy or girl a curfew to get them in bed at a reasonable hour after you give them this Bridge Game Set. The set is perfect for older hands, it comes with cardholders and a card shuffler so the hard work is done for them.
$24 .95

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This is Going to Make Me Poop Novelty Mug

Caffeine is like motor oil for your intestinal engine, it gets things moving and this funny mug is the perfect delivery method for the hot stuff. The seventy-year-old that receives this will be equally grateful for the laugh as they will be for the "splash" it causes later.
$16 .97

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