27 well-deserved retireguyt gifts that will honor all their hard work and sacrifice

Retired Business Cards

When you've hit that coveted 6-5, it's time to start toting a new set of business cards that are the envy of everyone who's 6-4 and younger. These novelty cards are a hilarious gag gift at a retirement party.

$11 .00

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#2

100 Things to Do Bucket List Scratch-Off Poster

You're never too old or too young for a bucket list and with this 100 Things to Do Scratch-Off Poster, a retiree can continue on their list of things to do or start anew. The poster's cool minimalist design accents plenty of decor and has activities suitable for adventurous souls and homebodies alike.

$29 .50

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#3

You're Only Old Once Book

Forget YOLO, a retiree can embrace that YOOO life with You're Only Old Once. The charming book by Dr. Seuss is a colorful tale of the joys of being old told through whimsical, colorful, youthful illustrations.

$10 .79

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#4

I Wrote A Book About You Fill-In The Blanks

Thank them for years of bestowing wisdom upon you with a truly touching story that they'll page through over and over. The fill-in-the-blank prompts in I Wrote a Book About You will walk you through crafting a story to express your gratitude for all they've done.

$14 .83

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#5

The Retirement Coloring Book

Coloring isn't just for kids, it's also a great stress-reliever for kids at heart. Retirees will find this retirement coloring book has the added bonus of helping them keep their minds sharp and maintain fine motor skills by coloring in between small lines.

$8 .95

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#6

Lazy Daze Outdoor Hammock

What day is a lazy day? Every day is a lazy day when you've clocked out for the last time. Retirees can enjoy a sunny nap in this 55" hammock made from double quilted fabric for extra softness.

$69 .89

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#7

Picnic Backpack Bag with Cooler Compartment

Now that lunch doesn't have to be eaten at their desk, a retiree should make up for lost time eating sad sack salads and have a phenomenal picnic. They'll find everything they need for a great picnic for two in this backpack with cooler compartment. From silverware to plates to wine glasses, it's a complete set.

$49 .98

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#8

50 States, 5,000 Ideas Book

The retiree that wants to go somewhere but doesn't know where will find more inspiration than they know what to do with in 50 States, 5,000 Ideas. The National Geographic book is filled with vivid pictures, brilliant ideas, and excellent ways to explore the United States.

$11 .94

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#9

Day of the Week Clock

Remembering what day it is when you're desk jockeying is easy. You live and die by 5PM on Friday. When you're retired, keeping track of the days that just seem to run together is a little harder. With this Day of the Week Clock, all you have to do is look up to see where things stand.

$48 .95

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#10

Officially Retired Tiara

When the queen has arrived at her celebration, coronate her in style with this officially retired tiara. The bright pink words stand out against the shimmery silver of the smaller gems and will make her feel like the life of the party.

$6 .49

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#11

Garden Kneeler Seat

If they can make it from 65 to 75 without any knee problems, it'll be because you got them this garden kneeler. While they're partaking in new outdoor hobbies, they can kneel or sit in the epitome of comfort. The adjustable seat can be moved to suit their ideal position and is padded for extra comfort.

$44 .99

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#12

What Is It That Retired People Can Do Card

Riddle me this old man, what is it that retired people can do that hardly anyone else can? Spoiler alert: the answer is wake up on Monday mornings in a good mood. It's true, Mondays don't suck after you turn 65. It's that retirement magic.

$5 .07

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#13

Prank Million Dollar Lottery Tickets

Your recently retired friends nest egg will look like a goose egg compared to the winnings they think they’re scratching off on this ticket. The lotto tickets look like winners but they’re anything but, they’re fake AF. Watch out for flying objects when you break that news to your friend.

$19 .99

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#14

Anywhere Travel Guide: 75 Cards for Discovering the Unexpected

Now that they're not tied to a desk, a retiree might be looking to go somewhere and do something. They'll never be short on ideas with the Anywhere Travel Guide. On each of the 75 cards is a different way for them to explore places near and far, new and familiar.

$12 .04

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#15

I Don't Give A Damn O'Clock Mug

To a retiree, it's I Don't Give A Damn O'Clock at every o'clock, and with this mug, they can rock that ambivalence about the hour proudly. The novelty mug holds 12oz of their favorite beverage that they're welcome to drink as slowly as they like, time doesn't matter anymore.

$16 .99

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#16

Retired: Under New Management Apron

Happy wife, happy life is as much a newlywed working man's motto as it is a newly retired, old man's motto, and this apron is a demonstration of that in the funniest way. The "Retired: Under New Management *See Spouse for details" apron is a fun way to tease a new retiree.

$15 .00

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#17

Personalized Retired Sign

There's plenty of room on this personalized 11"x17" retired sign for friends, family, and former colleagues to leave messages of good luck and fond memories. The framed photo is certain to become a keepsake that will adorn the retiree's wall for years to come.

$9 .99

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#18

Keys to a Successful Retirement Book

While a retiree might think they know everything about retirement, Keys to a Successful Retirement is still a book they'll want to read. Covering topics from managing finances to tackling feelings of aimlessness, it's loaded with helpful advice to make the after-work years the best yet.

$9 .34

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#19

Retirement Weekly Schedule Coffee Mug

With seven days of totally free time, a retiree might be wondering what they're going to do. This hilarious mug answers it simply and succinctly: Do Whatever The Hell I Want To Do. Let the fun commence.

$7 .99

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#20

Reader's Digest: The Most Scenic Drives in America

Driving is a helluva lot more fun when it's not to and from the office, and the Reader's Digest: The Most Scenic Drives in America is a book that will inspire the best drives a retiree has ever taken. It's a trip planner and travel guide all-in-one and a perfect handbook for enjoying the USA's sights.

$18 .50

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#21

Acupressure Foot Massage Slippers

After decades of wearing heels that pinch or dress shoes that have no arch support, a retiree needs something a little more comfortable. These acupressure foot massage slippers target trigger points in the feet to relieve pain in the feet and relieve tension in the wearer's entire body.

$24 .29

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#22

Planter's Choice Bonsai Starter Kit

Start a nursery at home with this Planter's Choice Bonsai Starter Kit. The small trees make a beautiful addition to any windowsill and bonsai trees are great for gardening newbies. This kit contains four different species of tree and everything you'll need, even the soil, to grow them.

$24 .99

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#23

Retirement Angel Figurine

Retirees of faith will find incredible meaning in this angel figurine. The stone resin figure is crafted with fine detail, stands at about 9.25" tall, and is engraved with a message wishing them blessings in their new journey.

$39 .68

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#24

Extra Large Picnic & Outdoor Blanket

For picnics in the park or naps in the yard, this extra large outdoor blanket is a must-have. Its blue and white striped design is pretty, it has a waterproof backing that'll keep you and your belongings dry, even on wet grass, and when you're done, it's easy to roll it up and carry it home.

$26 .99

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#25

Customizable Bucket List and Bucket

The idea of a bucket list is a lot more entertaining when it's an actual list in a bucket. With this customizable set, a retiree can write down all their hopes, wishes, dreams, and ideas for the next few decades of life on tickets and pick them out to complete one at a time from the metal bucket.

$33 .09

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#26

A Book that Takes Its Time

Retirees looking to find new purpose in their new life will enjoy the guided activities and readings in A Book that Takes Its Time. It touts itself as a way to combine reading and doing, and takes readers on a mindfulness journey through its pages.

$19 .60

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#27

Retired: Not My Problem Anymore Whiskey Glass

The great thing about retirement is that the only thing that is your problem is choosing what spirit goes in this Retired: Not My Problem Anymore glass. Should it be whiskey? Should it be vodka? Should it be on the rocks? Only you can say, but it's all you have to have a say about.

$17 .99

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#28

Retired Baseball Hat

When a businessman has officially retired, the world should know it. This ball cap's bold, white collegiate-style letters make a strong statement against the black that is the hat's base fabric. It's adjustable and keeps their eyes and balding head safe from the sun.

$12 .30

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#29

Retirement Party Wine Label Pack

It's time to WINE down their working life and what better way to do so than with a bottle of red or white. Add a little fun to the sipping with this pack of four retirement party wine labels. Affix them to the bottles before serving and even people under 65 will get a laugh out of them.

$7 .99

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#30

Sloggers Waterproof Gardening Shoes

These waterproof gardening shoes are for more than just gardening. They're comfortable and have excellent traction, so they're great for everyday wear. Plus, they come in a variety of patterns and colors. It's possible to have a pair to go with every outfit.

$29 .39

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#31

Heated Foot Massager

All that walking to and from the watercooler to gossip really wears out the feet. Now that they've popped off the working man's shoes, a retiree can spend all day with their feet getting pampered by this heated foot massager. With 18 rotating, heated nodes and several speeds, their foot pain will melt away and so will their tension levels.

$49 .99

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#32

Heavy Duty BBQ Grill Tools Set

Without a commute or the off chance at long hours, a retiree can indulge in their passion for cooking. With this heavy-duty BBQ tools set, they can take their skills outside and practice getting the perfect char on a burger over an open flame. The set has skewers, tongs, a spatula, and more. The perfect meal awaits!

$29 .99

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#33

BenShot Pint Glass with Golf Ball

The BenShot pint glass with a golf ball stuck in the side of it is a silly way to poke fun at an amateur golfer just getting their start on the green. The 100% handmade glass holds 18oz of bubbly beverage and has a top-of-the-line Titleist ball securely embedded in the side.

$25 .99

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#34

Chocolate Gift Basket

Now that they've retired, life is like a box of chocolate, sweet, savory, and just waiting to be enjoyed. This box of treats has caramels, nougats, pretzels, and other favorites waiting to be enjoyed in celebration.

$38 .99

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#35

Oversized Fleece Throw

A retiree will enjoy the cozy life when they're wrapped up in this oversized fleece throw. Perfect for a nap on the couch, a nap in an armchair, or a nap in bed, the 50"x60" blanket is big enough to share, but only if you want to.

$17 .99

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#36

You'll Be Missed Retirement Bracelet

The colleague that became a friend and then became family will feel extra special when they open this lovely Amazonite bracelet with a ladybug charm. Inside the box is a message that explains the significance of the stone the beads are carved from and the charm.

$15 .95

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#37

Golf Practice Hitting Net

If they're not quite ready to hit the course, a retiree can hit some balls in their front yard into this golf practice hitting net. The net catches balls, sparing the neighborhood's windows from a hailstorm of drives. By the time they make it to the links, their swings will be perfect.

$79 .99

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#38

Honest Outfitters Hammock

As a retiree, you've got unofficial permission to nap anytime, anywhere. With the Honest Outfitters Hammock, you can take anywhere to the next level. Any spot between two trees is the place to set it up. Just lasso the straps around the trunks and sit back, it's as easy as that.

$22 .99

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#39

Scratch Off World Map

Retirees that have been waiting for this moment to hop on a plane and see the world will have a lovely way to keep track of where they've been and where they still have to go with this scratch-off world map. The map captures fine details like the states of the US for a complete picture of their travels.

$24 .99

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#40

Heavy Duty Gardening Set

Now that they've gotten back their morning and evening commutes, a retiree can indulge hobbies that they never had time for before, or pick up new ones. If gardening was always on the list, they can make their entre in style with this heavy-duty set of tools. With 51 pieces, it's got everything they need to start growing.

$25 .99

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#41

Ceramic Utensil Holder & Tablet/Book Stand

Trying out new recipes is a lot easier when you can be organized about it, and this ceramic utensil holder and tablet/book stand keeps the cookbook off the counter and keeps utensils close at hand. It's at the perfect angle for propping up a book or tablet and has a lip to keep books open.

$14 .99

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#42

Retirement Wish Jar

If a signed frame isn't quite their style, a retiree can still receive fond wishes, memories, and words of encouragement from their coworkers in this retirement wish jar. The set comes with 100 tickets for writing wishes on, a pen, and a cute jar for storage.

$21 .50

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#43

I Can Wine All I Want Wine Glass

It's true, a retiree can wine all they want, it's why everyone under age 65 wants to retire. This wine glass is engraved with the aspirational phrase that people who have just made it over-the-hill embrace completely.

$15 .99

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#44

Flowering Tea Gift Set

When you're not chugging mugs full of coffee to stay awake at boring meetings about QBRs, KPIs, and WTFs, you have time to enjoy what you're drinking. This flowering tea set adds beauty to the morning beverage experience. Retirees can stop and smell the delicious aroma that rises from the handsewn tea flowers that bloom as they steep.

$29 .99

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#45

Wine Opener Set

Crack a bottle just because you can with this wine opener set. The kit is a complete package with a foil cutter and corkscrew bottle opener, as well as a stopper and thermometer. It comes in a beautiful wooden box that looks great on the counter of a home bar.

$26 .99

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#46

Low Maintenance Succulent Plants

If they're looking to get into gardening, but want to try a million other things first, give them a trial run with succulents, the most low maintenance plants on Earth. The sturdy greens only need to be watered once every 2-3 weeks, so almost good to forget to moisten them, they'll live longer for it.

$9 .98

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#47

Kindle Paperwhite

In the car, at the beach, or in bed at night, the Kindle Paperwhite is a voracious reader's best friend. Its glare-free screen makes it ideal for reading inside and out, it's waterproof so reading in the bath isn't a problem, and it's got 8GB of storage, enough for an entire library of books.

$129 .99

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#48

Bushnell Phantom Golf GPS

A retiree's afternoons are made for hitting the links and grabbing a sandwich at the clubhouse. With this Bushnell Phantom Golf GPS, a player can hit almost any course in the US and be able to track his game. It's preloaded with 36,000 courses, has up to 4 hazard distances per hole, and tracks the hole number and its par.

$229 .00

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#49

How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free Book

Leaving work with enough cash in the bank to really enjoy their time is a priority for most retirees. How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free delves into the nitty-gritty wisdom that their financial advisor may not have told them that can make a world of difference in their post-work life.

$11 .90

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#50

Shiatsu Back and Neck Massager

After a session or two with this Shiatsu Back and Neck Massager, a retiree might feel so young they'll want to go back to work again. With 6 heated, rotating nodes, adjustable speed levels, and arms that hold it in place wherever they put it, a retiree will see their tension levels fall, and feel their aches and pains dissolve.

$45 .99

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#51

Hardside Spinner Suitcase Luggage Set

The days of red-eye flights and suits and ties while stuffed into a seat in coach are over. Now is the time to fly in style, and a retiree should start with their luggage. This three-piece hard side spinner set is a lightweight, sturdy, versatile option that's also easy for older folks to lift and maneuver in an airport.

$154 .99

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#52

Amazon Echo Spot

Call the grandkids or really embrace that tech-savvy side and call a colleague back at the office for a Zoom meeting with the Amazon Echo spot. The small spherical device is Alexa-enabled and will help you manage your day, check the weather, play music and videos, and make calls, among dozens of other features.

$89 .99

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#53

Hickory Farms Sausage & Cheese Gift Box

For office mates that always went more for the savory treats than the sweet ones, the Hickory Farms Sausage and Cheese Gift Box makes for a perfect send-off. The box has one of their signature sausages, cheese, crackers, a dip, and just a few candies to add a touch of sweetness.

$19 .99

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#54

Fitbit Versa 2 SmartWatch

A retiree looking to get or stay in shape can track their progress or make sure they're staying on the right track with a Fitbit Versa 2 smartwatch. It registers a wide variety of health data, from heart rate to hours slept, and a variety of activities to help them get a good picture of their overall health.

$177 .99

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#55

No One Can Ever Fill Your Shoes Keychain

Sometimes the people you work with touch your heart more than you could have imagined. This beautiful hand stamped keychain is a fitting tribute to a coworker about to retire that's always felt more like a friend or family member than just a colleague.

$9 .99

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#56

AirBnb Gift Card

Time and experiences are two of the greatest gifts you can give someone that now has the freedom to explore them both. With an Airbnb gift card, you can give them time in a new place to experience new things, or a way to see old friends in old places. Either way, a retiree will be deeply grateful.

$100 .00

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#57

My Retirement Plan Shirt

He's o-fish-ally retired and reeling in the glory that comes with that new phase of life that's a little more slowly paced than the hustle and bustle of the working world. While he's wearing this screen printed cotton shirt, he'll be reeling in comfort, too.

$15 .95

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#58

Callaway Strata Starter Golf Set

A guy that's looking to start a second career on the green will find everything he needs to start up his putting, chipping, and driving in this Callaway Strata Starter Golf Set. It's a complete package, with several clubs, bag, and club covers to start them off right.

$499 .99

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#59

Good Days Start With Gratitude Journal

Journaling is an excellent mindfulness practice and with the Good Days Start with Gratitude Journal, a retire can bring some structure to their newly unstructured lives by committing to writing in it every day. As they progress through the journal's pages, they'll find inspirational quotes, affirmations, and ideas for finding gratitude and grace in everyday situations.

$8 .75

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#60

Burt's Bees Classics Gift Set

A retiree's skin will be glowing as soon as they start using the creams in the Burt's Bees Classic set. The tiny tin is a treasure trove. It's packed with ultra-moisturizing, all-natural hand cream, foot cream, and lip balm.

$23 .10

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#61

Tile Mate Key Finder

Now that they're officially a senior, they might start having senior moments. Lucky for them, the Tile Mate Key Finder will keep those to a minimum. Using an app on their phone, they can signal the Tile to make a loud, shrill noise to help them find items the small device is attached to from up to 200 feet away.

$39 .99

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#62

Essential Oil Diffuser

They may have left the office for the last time, but that doesn't mean they've said farewell to stress. Help them kickstart their retirement with an essential oil diffuser that mists humid air infused with relaxing scents like lavender for 12 hours before having to be refilled.

$32 .99

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#63

Audible Subscription

Retirees have a lot of time on their hands. They can walk, they can drive, they can read, they can do everything. With an Audible membership, they can listen to a book they've been wanting to read forever and take a walk at the same time. Each month they can choose a new book from Amazon's vast selection.

$15 .00

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