23 Really Helpful Breakup Gifts That Will Never Give You Up Or Let You Down

Updated: Aug 26 2022
23 Really Helpful Breakup Gifts That Will Never Give You Up Or Let You Down
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Put down the scissors and forget about trying bangs! To get over your most recent heartbreak, all you need is one of these breakup gifts. Dudes, there are gift ideas here for you, too, and when your relationship status downgrades from "In a Relationship" to "Single" (literally no one uses "It's Complicated" anymore), you'll find the care packages and treats you need to get over a broken heart. Start with ice cream as a teaser to get your girl to the divorce party and make her laugh with divorce gifts and breakup presents that make being newly single, dare we say it, kind of awesome? Your friends will heal their hearts, bodies and minds, treat themselves, and get out all the rage they're feeling with these brilliant breakup gifts. And if/when you get dumped, you'll know where to send them for a pick-me-up!

Rage Page: A Journal for the Bad Days

During the Rage Phase of the breakup, this journal will get you through the worst of it. The prompts inside are designed to help you express all that anger that you're feeling in a productive way that'll make you wanna kick ass and come back stronger than ever.
$6 .99

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Affirmators!

You don't need those saccharine platitudes your friends hurl at you while you're going through a breakup, you need Affirmators. They're cards packed with self-help and mantras without all that gross, contrived self-helpy BS. The fun illustrations make them extra awesome, too!
$10 .49

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Dark Humored Misfortune Cookies

Drown your sorrows like the secretly goth girl you are with a set of misfortune cookies that’ll allow you to be as maudlin as you want. These tasty black cookies are like the ones they have at your local Chinese place, just packed with bad luck.
$19 .95

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The Stress Relief Dammit Doll

Blow off some steam by bashing the ever-loving f*ck out of the Dammit Doll. The sturdy but soft plush toy is designed to be smacked around and thrown at hard surfaces to help you get your stress out.
$19 .99

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Have a Nice Life A$$hole Adult Coloring Book

Wish your ex all the best by coloring in the many pages of this coloring book filled with insults and sliding your works of art under his door. There's nothing weird about that, and there's no shame in relieving a little stress by enjoying in a favorite activity from your childhood.
$6 .98

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Essential Art Therapy Exercises

This is more than an adult coloring book, this is an activity book filled with carefully designed exercises that have anxiety and stress relief in mind. Practice mindfulness while you shade in the images and reflect on the prompts printed on the pages.
$11 .34

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No Breakup Can Break You

Guys need help getting over a breakup, too, and this book is THE book to get your guy back on his feet. Packed with advice to help him address his emotions in a healthy way, ideas for moving forward, and how to find himself again, it's like a secret code for reactivating his awesome spirit.
$12 .99

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After the Breakup: A Self-Love Journal

The post-breakup isn’t about them, it’s about you. Heal yourself so you can be better than ever with The Break Up Journal. It’s packed with guided prompts, mindful exercises, and space for you to record and reflect on your feelings.
$8 .57

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It's Called A Break Up Because It's Broken

Forget chicken soup for the soul, this book is funky, chunky ice cream for the soul. A gal bumming about her breakup will feel empowered, confident, and fresh outta f*cks for her ex after reading through this hilarious and uplifting book.
$12 .30

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Con-air Dual Jet Bath Spa

This dual jet bath spa will transform your tub into the whirlpool you always wished it could be. It's equipped with two kinds of jets, the second creates powerful massaging bubbles. And since those jets are legit, ladies, you can use them to "have a good time" if you catch the drift.
$49 .99

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A 27-Pound Bucket Of Mac & Cheese

I'm fine, Mom. It was on sale, it was an economical decision. I know you're concerned. No Mom, I don't need to talk to Pastor Jerry. I know, I know, yes, yes I know Mom. Yes, I know I'm not getting any younger. No Mom, please don't give my number to the nice waiter you met at the diner.
$89 .99

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Win Your Breakup

Be “the one that got away” instead of the other way around with some help from this magenta marvel. Win Your Breakup goes beyond standard advice like “lose weight” to give you the tools to leave your relationship ready to kick ass and take names.
$14 .87

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Weighted Cooling Blanket

Now that you're free of the tossy-turny man baby that used to take up space in the bed next to you, you're already sleeping better BUT it'll be the best ever with a weighted cooling blanket. It feels like a hug from the hottest celebrity ever and reduces stress and anxiety at bedtime.
$29 .99

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The Comfy Blanket Sweatshirt

You do not need a partner to get the best hug you've ever gotten, all you need is The Comfy. It's got a sherpa lining that'll wrap you up in eternal love, a pocket to hold snacks that you don't have to share, and a hood to block out all the texts they're sending you (do not get back together!).
$29 .99

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Grow A Boyfriend

Aunt Susie won't stop asking where your boyfriend is? Whip out this little guy and she's sure to shut right up. Just drop him in water and he grows to 6 times his original size. Instant boyfriend! His name is Jack, thanks for asking, you will not be taking questions at this time.
$3 .89

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Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb

Get revenge on your ex by sending them glitter aka the herpes of the craft world. When he opens this spring-loaded glitter bomb his entire apartment, home, or otherwise will be coated in the shiny stuff and he'll never, ever be able to get it all out.
$17 .50

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Moon Lamp

He wouldn't give you the moon but girl, you can give your damn self the moon with this lamp. The pretty celestial body sits atop a bamboo cradle to drive home the soothing natural vibes and has a soothing warm white or bright white glow.
$19 .99

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Wedding Ring Coffin

Don’t give the ring back after a divorce, deep six that ugly gold band with the dignity it may or may not deserve with the wedding ring coffin. The container is plush on the inside to hold it steady and is handcrafted from wood.
$34 .95

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Only Good Vibes Message Jar

Give your friend a little personalized pep up with the Only Good Vibes jar. Packed inside the petite jar are a bevy of multi-colored strips of paper for you to scribble your words of support on. Even when they find The One, they'll cherish the messages you write forever.
$19 .95

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Plush Microwavable Slippers

Men are pretty crap at foot massages, so enjoy a little relief with a little help from the microwave. These plush slippers have a bed of lavender and flax that after a 90-second spin in the microwave will melt away your pain and tension.
$29 .19

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Freestanding Punching Bag

Take out your earrings, pull on these boxing gloves and get ready to throw hands. Tape a pic of your man's face to the bag atop the stand and start punching. Not only will you get out some frustration, but you'll also be looking hot AF in no time, boxing is a great workout.
$67 .95

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Pep Talk Notepad

Give yourself some words of wisdom with a tiny notepad packed with positivity. The little sticky pad offers some suggestions for things to do to get your mood up, and if all else fails, there are suggestions at the bottom like "eat ice cream" to heal the soul.
$6 .00

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Gourmet Edible Cookie Dough

Ice cream is obvs the number one food to eat to get over a man, but cookie dough is the number two. When you don't want a brain freeze but you do want a whole lot of sweet stuff, it's time for a heaping container of edible cookie dough.
$119 .68

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The Beef Jerky Flower Bouquet

Heal your bro's heart with a bro-quet of beef and beer after his girl kicks him to the curb. These “flowers” don’t wilt but they do taste darn good thanks to their beefy flowers. The whole thing comes in a pint glass for the beer to wash it down.
$49 .00

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Cove Anxiety Reducing Headset

You can't call out from work with a bad case of the Break Ups so you gotta keep trucking. People will think you're cool as a cucumber thanks to the pressure point and vibration therapy that this unique anxiety-reducing headset delivers. It's got a sleek lowkey look appropriate for WFH and at the office.
$189 .99

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Luna Personal Massager

Girls, the Luna is no two-pump chump and it won’t roll over and go to sleep leaving you wanting. It will, however, induce so much pleasure with its variable speed and vibration settings that it’ll cause you to ascend to a new dimension of orgasmic wonder. What man? You don’t need one with Luna.
$19 .97

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BodyBoss Portable Home Gym

Is there any better revenge than flexing on your ex's new guy both figuratively and literally? With the BodyBoss you can whip yourself into shape with nothing more than a board, some bands, and your own bodyweight. You'll be looking like Chris Hemsworth and your former girl will be bumming about what she cut loose.
$129 .95

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Godiva Gourmet Truffles

Do it up like Elle Woods and stuff your face with chocolate post-break up and then go and ace the LSATs. If law school isn't your vibe, the chocolate should be and you can't go wrong with Godiva's Gourmet truffles. This set has over a dozen of the sweet, complex, delicious truffles for you to enjoy.
$44 .00

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The Boyfriend Body Pillow

If you just can't fall asleep without his arm around you but still want to get your beauty sleep, look no further than the boyfriend pillow. Choose from several colors of button-down shirt and enjoy a man that doesn't snore, doesn't steal the blanket, and always lets you pick the channel.
$34 .95

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BestSelf Planner & Journal Notebook

You are a strong, independent woman and you don't need no man to be your best, happiest, most productive, most HBIC self. All you need is the BestSelf Planner. Through a series of prompts, weekly activities, and places to analyze and reflect on your personal achievements, you'll leave him so far in the dust personally and professionally you'll feel amazing.
$34 .99

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Tea Drops Loose Leaf Tea Sampler Box

Brits probably drink the most tea of anyone in the world but people who got broken up with must be a close second. Give them a soothing beverage with a little bit of sweet flavor with TeaDrops. They dissolve instantly in the water and feature divine flavors.
$16 .99

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Snuggle-Pedic Full Body Pillow

Let's be real for a moment. It's all "new me, who dis" talk during the day, but when you're fresh off a serious breakup, things can feel pretty lonely at night in your empty king size bed with no one to snuggle with - until you get this full body pillow!
$64 .99

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Gourmet Cookie Gift Tin

Send a far-away friend going through a heartbreak something baked from the heart. This container is filled with over a dozen cookies made with love. The flavors are intense and they're packed with mix-ins like chocolate chips. It's a true treasure chest of delicious things.
$39 .95

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Dill Dough Stress Reliever

Pluck an insult out of the Chandler Bing dictionary and exorcise the stress that your dillhole ex caused you by squishing some Dill Dough. The stress-relieving putty is infused with a pickley aroma and is fun to squish.
$15 .95

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Stemless Wine Glass Insulated Sleeve

Netflix asks you if you're still there but your wine glass can't do the same thing. Even if you forget about your chilled white or rosé, this insulated wine glass sleeve will keep it in good shape. Even if an hour or more has passed, your wine will still be cold.
$23 .99

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