34 Extremely Funny Golf Towels That'll Make You The Club Champion

Updated: Jun 13 2023
34 Extremely Funny Golf Towels That'll Make You The Club Champion
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Stop thinking, make things happen, be the ball, and make your friends laugh with these incredibly funny golf towels. From Caddyshack to Happy Gilmore, fart jokes to golf-game insults, no stone has been left unturned. Get a little something extra to go with a funny golf gift like a towel that keeps a dude humble about his swing (or that sorry excuse for one, anyway). Give him a golf gift that'll be legit helpful, like a golf towel that flags down the beer cart. Naturally, many of the funny towel sayings are based on dad jokes so you know he'll love them. You can never have too many things to clean your balls with, so stock up on some funny golf towels now!

Find My Balls Funny Golf Towel

It may be harder to find your balls as you get older but there's one sure-fire place to check; the water. At home, look into the toilet to see if you've got anything drooping down to touch the top, and on the course, check the hazard. Just check for gators first to make sure the family jewels don't get eaten.
$7 .09

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Hit Two Good Balls Stepped on a Rake Funny Golf Towel

RIP to your family line and here's hoping you never have to meet the course kid that left the rake in the sand trap. But hey, you gotta admit this towel is also correct as far as your golf game goes.
$6 .99

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Everything's Fine Funny Golf Towel

Gator ate your ball, make he ate your club, too. The golf cart won't start, you're missing a shoe. But really, everything is fine, totally cool. Nothing to see here. Not a thing at all, just keep focusing on this towel.
$9 .88

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Release the Kraken Funny Golf Towel

If the Kraken is a drive that lands the ball on the green instead of the water trap or the sand hazard, by all means, release it. Your buddies have been waiting on you to do that for years. Let this towel be your inspiration and for the love of god, release the Kraken.
$40 .21

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Fore Beer Label Lookalike Golf Towel

You've seen this label somewhere before but you just can't place it. You'll figure it out by the time the beer cart girl comes over and places a nice cold can in your hands. Then it'll all make sense.
$19 .99

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Peace and Good Vibes Funny Golf Towel

Bring some peace and good vibes onto the golf course and your game will be looking up. With good vibes come good karma and this towel is loaded with all things psychedelic, funky, and fab.
$19 .99

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Grip It Rip It Sip It Funny Golf Towel

Every golfer needs a sassy motto and gents, you couldn't ask for one better than this one. Grip it, rip it, and sip it will be your new "let it ride" for good or for ill.
$3 .99

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19th Hole Loser Pays Funny Golf Towel Set

The 19th hole is the drinking hole so unless you're ready to pay up you better play up all 18 that lead up to it. This towel will be the inspiration you need to get the lowest score of your whole life.
$26 .95

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Fried Egg Bacon Smile Towel

Get a nice reminder of what's waiting for you at the 19th hold with a golf towel that smiles back at you. Who needs googly eyes when you have eggy eyes and a side of a slice of bacon? Don't drool too much, you still gotta focus on that putt.
$15 .00

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Men's Rules Funny Golf Towel

The question on his hilarious golf towel is a very important one. Make sure you get it established before the game starts. You wouldn't want anyone snapping a putter over their leg out of frustration.
$3 .70

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Friends Don't Let Friends 3 Putt Funny Golf Towel

Or DO friends let friends 3 putt? You gotta be careful about the friends you're golfing with. Make sure you've got the sort that see this towel and smile rather than see it and break the 4th wall to look into the camera with a smirk.
$20 .95

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Zombie Tiger Woods Golf Towel

There's something scary in the wood, it's name is the Tiger zombie. You wouldn't want to encounter this terrifying creature out in Augusta because even if he's undead, he could still beat your best drive.
$19 .99

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Drive Long and Prosper Funny Golf Towel

Mr. Spock knew a lot of things about a lot of things, he was a logical guy. So for him to say that driving long was the key to prospering, seems like pretty sound reasoning. Heed his words and you'll be boldly going where no golfer has gone before.
$6 .99

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Stiff Shaft Funny Golf Towel

In the bedroom or the golf course, ya boy is always playing with a stiff shaft, right? He and his buddies will get a kick out of this absolutely ridiculous and slightly suggestive towel.
$16 .95

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Green Pastures Not Still Waters Funny Clip On Golf Towel

This sounds like something that would be in the Bible, you know? When you walk through the valley of the shadow over death traps like sand bunkers and watery ponds, this towel will ensure you have no fear of dirty balls.
$8 .99

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The Golffather Funny Golf Towel

Someone will come to you on this, the day of the biggest golf game of your life, and they will make a request of you. And you can tell them they have to beat you at 18 holes for you to follow through. You're the Golffather, you can refuse any offer.
$17 .99

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I Can Drive 300 Yards Funny Golf Towel

Yeah, you can drive 300 yards, what now Tiger Woods? You don't have to specify that those 300 yards driven were all done so in your golf cart. It's not technically lying if you don't specify.
$10 .99

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Retired Funny Golf Towel

When you turn 65 you're finally free, not to join your wife at home doing whatever it is she does, you're free to take all the time you want playing golf. Hang this towel on your bag and get out there!
$10 .99

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Swing with Bling Funny Golf Towel Accessory Set

Concept: a bedazzled golf club. How awesome would that be? Then no one would be able to complain that golf is boring. Be the blingiest babe on the course while hanging this towel from your cart and using the included tees and marker.
$20 .95

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Just Go Around Me Funny Golf Towel

You didn't retire so you could rush, deadlines are something you left behind at the office. This towel will send quicker parties that just want to the game to end to go around you, leaving you to savor every moment of your tee time.
$6 .99

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Save Water Drink Champagne Funny Golf Towel

Champagne does contain SOME water, just not a lot of it. By opting for some bubbly you're doing your part to help with water conservation. The towel comes with some fun accessories, too, like a golf marker and bag.
$20 .95

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Queen of the Green Funny Golf Towel

Forget being the princess of the putts, what you really want to be is the queen of the green. The woman, the myth, the legend herself, she's the only one worthy of this towel and accessory set, which will coronate her game into truly regal levels.
$20 .95

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Did I Miss It Funny Golf Towel

Take a mulligan and blame it on forgetting your glasses. Or, pretend like you're a total ditz and get yourself a second second try. This towel is great for poking a little fun at a gal with the worst aim on the course.
$12 .95

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Putt Now Wine Later Funny Golf Towel

Ladies know that if they reverse the two and wine first and putt later that they'll be in some big trouble. They'll be out on the course so long that the bar might close! This set will get them back to the clubhouse extra fast thanks to some added accessories.
$20 .95

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Play Around Funny Golf Towel

Make sure everyone at the country club knows that you're DTG at all times with this towel hanging from your bag. What's DTG? That's Down To Golf. Sounds a lot like the text acronyms your kids like to use.
$17 .99

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