Gifts for Midwesterners

A Guide to Midwestern Conversation

Help folks who aren't from the Midwest speak the language of America's heartland with this hilarious book. A Guide to Midwestern Conversation introduced math concepts (short drive = less than 8 hours), how to exit a party (slap your knees and say "welp"), defines the Garage Fridge, and so much more.

$9 .99

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#2

Tupperware Heritage Pitcher Set

When mama took these out of the cupboard you knew summer was about to get real. Reintroduce a Midwesterner to the joy they felt on those hot summer days with a set of their very own heritage pitchers. Mixing up Kool-Aid with the wooden spoon in the pitchers is a rite of passage.

$38 .99

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#3

The Amazing Round Ice Scraper

Though tempting, hauling down I-94 with your head out of the window because your windshield is still covered in ice and you're late for work isn't a good idea. With these round ice scrapers, even the thickest ice will be gone in a flash. They're like erasers for ice and super tough, but not so tough they'll damage the glass.

$14 .99

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#4

A Garage Fridge

Ask any Midwesterner and they'll tell you the god's honest truth, one fridge just isn't gonna cut it. They need another fridge to keep the venison their neighbor gave them in, keep their extra beer in, and to have an excuse to walk away from the in-laws. This garage fridge is a necessary item.

$237 .69

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#5

Kickasserole Funny Ceramic Dish

It's not just casserole that Aunt Jan has been bringing to the family reunion, it's kick-asserole. It's got some secret ingredient that takes hot cheese, potatoes, and beef to a new level. Give it even more of a kick by giving her this Kickasserole dish, it's 10.6"x7.2", ideal for most recipes, and good for cooking and serving!

$37 .95

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#6

Stingray 7-in-1 BBQ Grill Multi-tool

Don't tell a Midwestern dad that this genius 7-in-1 barbecue tool is called the Stingray because he will never call it anything else. That's just how they roll. He'll love it because it's stainless steel and it means he can grill one-handed, saving his other hand for drinking beer.

$24 .99

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#7

The Midwest Survival Guide

The guys behind the Manitowoc Minute created this guide to help Midwesterners understand themselves and to help non-Midwesterners understand the strange creatures from the American heartland. To say the guide is hilarious is an understatement, and just like their Instagram videos, will make readers and viewers laugh until they cry.

$15 .59

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#8

The Great Minnesota Hot Dish Cookbook

Are the recipes in this book the greatest in the entire state of Minnesota? You betcha they are! Knock the socks off people from the coasts and the south with a hot dish so full of flavor and heart they'll never wanna eat a high-fallutin' plate of sushi again. There are 200 in the book, that's enough for leftovers!

$10 .59

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#9

Reusable Snow And Ice Melting Mat

Midwesterners lack the emotional ability to say "I love you" so instead they keep their family and friends safe with things like this mat. Saltnets melt snow and ice with no chemicals required. That means come summer the lawn still looks great and the driveway is free of white streaks.

$44 .99

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#10

Rechargeable Heated Insoles

Cold feet aren't just a wedding day problem for Midwesterners, as soon as winter hits frozen toes are a serious issue. With these heated insoles, it'll be a thing of the past. The insoles recharge via USB, have 4 temperature settings, and can adjust for shoe sizes from Men's 4.5 to 14.

$69 .95

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#11

Midwest Made Cookbook

Home-grown, homemade, and filled with heart, that's how to describe every big, bold bake in this cookbook. Midwest Made is soul food for anyone from America's heartland. There are 125 recipes in the book, and making 'em will make the kitchen smell good enough to tempt even the most staunch New Yorker away from the coast.

$11 .00

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#12

Literally Anything From Carhartt

People from California wear Carhartt because they think it's cool, people from the Midwest wear stuff from Carhartt because they know it's warm. In the winter, on the job site, and everywhere in between, a Midwesterner will never say no to receiving, wearing, or complimenting Carhartt apparel and accessories.

$118 .04

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#13

SnowOFF Windshield Cover

Change a Midwesterner's life with this windshield cover, which will make them the envy of their neighbors, friends, coworkers, really everybody. The snow cover is compatible with most vehicles and works with magnets and suction cups, no heavy hardware! Plus, it's wind-resistant and comes with a demist cloth.

$26 .95

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#14

Hershey's S'More Caddy

Summers were made for s'mores and with this toolbox the fun won't stop! The plastic container has room for graham crackers, Hershey bars, and marshmallows, as well as a few extras like Oreos and peanut butter.

$24 .94

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#15

30 Pound Bucket of Mayonnaise

Ranch will always be the Midwest's favorite condiment but mayo is a close second. Since it's used in everything from potato salad (pronounced "pa-tay-ta sa-lid") to fish sandwiches, this 30-pound bucket should be just enough to get a Midwestern family through the summer.

$131 .54

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#16

Future Midwestern Sewing Kit

If you're from the Midwest you might not know that this tin actually held Danish butter cookies, and pretty good ones at that, and not just Grandma's sewing kit. As a housewarming present for a couple of lovebirds this is an ideal choice, once they've eaten the cookies they can carry on the grand sewing kit tradition.

$10 .29

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#17

Michigan Cherry Coffee

Cherries and coffee? Yes, chef, it's gonna be your new favorite combination. Michigan, renowned for its cherries, contributes to the fruity flavor in this mouthwatering blend, which is bold, rich, and never bitter.

$13 .95

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#18

Instant Mullet Hat

Mullets only went out of fashion in the Midwest in about 2010, but everything old is new again so they're gonna wanna have this hat on hand just in case. The line for a haircut at Great Clips could be a mile long but they can transform their look in an instant by putting on the Instant Mullet Hat.

$19 .99

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#19

Big Mouth Billy Bass

The Big Mouth Billy Bass is to men in the Midwest what a Live, Laugh, Love sign is to women in the Midwest. He's the best way to greet a visitor to the man cave and the most ridiculous way to get a ridiculous song stuck in your head.

$70 .00

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#20

Homesick Candle of a Midwestern State

It's easy to get homesick for the Midwest, it's why it's also called the heartland because your heart lives there. Homesick candles are a remedy for homesickness, with aromas that are specially crafted to be reminiscent of the places that they come from. There's one for every state but the best ones are the Midwest ones.

$25 .59

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#21

Walking Taco Starter Pack

Some might call it a Frito pie, others might call it a walking taco, but it doesn't matter what its name is, it's damn good. If you give a Midwesterner this 40-pack box of Fritos, they're gonna eat and they're gonna eat good for at least a few weeks. Just need to add the beef!

$23 .79

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#22

Mr Boot Cleaner Shoe Scraper

Even though every good Midwestern home has a mudroom, it's still important to get as much ice and salt off of boots before stomping in the house as possible. This three-sided, tough AF boot cleaner is every mom's delight. It's easy to use, super durable, and can be mounted to the floor!

$24 .99

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#23

Shovelution Strain-Reducing Snow Shovel

The Shovelution will not be televised but it might be on Instagram because Midwesterners sure do love to talk about things they bought that changed their lives. Spare them back pain with this strain-reducing ergonomic shovel, which harnesses the power of physics to make shoveling even the heaviest, wettest snow a breeze.

$39 .57

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#24

Tornado Watching Chair

The weatherman told you to get inside, the sky is green, and the siren is going off. It's time to grab a beer and settle in to watch a storm in these tornado-watching chairs. They recline to give a great view, have deep cupholders so your beer won't fly away, and they're quick-drying.

$109 .99

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#25

Portable Hunting Space Heater

Everyone knows it's not the cold that gets ya, it's the wind. Lucky for a Midwesterner out on the blind, there is this portable heater. It's black and camo to keep it hidden, emanates radiant heat at an output of 12000 BTUs, and only weighs 14 pounds, not so bad!

$126 .99

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#26

The Ice Scraper Mitt

Oh dang, there are few feelings more heartbreaking for a Midwesterner than getting outside to scrape the windshield and realizing they forgot their gloves inside. Thankfully, there is this ice scraper mitt, which is waterproof, windproof, and makes forgetting gloves A-OK.

$9 .99

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#27

Wisconsin Cheeseman Combo Pack

That's Wis-CAHN-sin cheese and meat to you non-Midwesterners, who might be wondering how to introduce this power plate of yum to friends at the party. There are three sticks of meat and four bricks of cheese in this combo pack that are so delicious you'll want to move North immediately.

$39 .99

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#28

Megapack of Tupperware

Small portions? LOL, what's that? No such thing when you're cooking with a Crock Pot but with this megapack of Tupperware, that's 21 bowls and 21 lids, you can pack up stuff to freeze, safe leftovers in the fridge, or send friends home from the party with a plate!

$34 .99

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#29

Corn Cob Skewers

When a Midwestern wife breaks these bad boys out at the barbecue you know that things are about to get awesome. They're the harbinger of sweet, golden goodness, the bringer of buttery delights, and the best way to eat corn without getting your fingers all messy.

$6 .95

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#30

New Balance Casual Comfort Dad Shoes

Dads in the Midwest have been keeping New Balance's financials in the black since the company introduced these shoes. He'll wear 'em to a barbecue, a baseball game, even a friend's wedding. And he'll never miss a moment to tell anyone how comfortable and supportive they are.

$54 .95

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#31

Mega Pack of Hand Warmers

50 degrees is shorts weather, 40 degrees is light jacket weather, when Midwesterns have to break out the Hot Hands, that's when Hell has officially frozen over. Get 'em this megapack to show you care, they'll come in handy for anyone North of the Michigan-Ohio border.

$25 .50

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#32

Passive Aggressive Notepad

Midwesterners are nice 99% of the time and when they're not feeling so nice, they're not gonna tell you about it directly. This passive-aggressive notepad is a way to air their grievances in the most indirect manner possible. And listen here, buddy, it's the best way, ok?!

$8 .63

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#33

Riding Lawnmower Snow Plow Attachment

Every Midwestern guy dreams of ditching the shovel or the snowblower from this easy-to-install lawnmower plow attachment. Partially because he doesn't have to wait for the plow guy and partially because he can be the neighborhood hero by digging everyone out. It's 48" wide and compatible with lots of riding mowers.

$518 .49

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#34

Canadian Trapper Hat

God bless Canada, an honorary member of the Midwest. They were kind enough to lend Tim Horton's and super warm hats like this one to folks who borrowed some of their accent, eh. The buffalo plaid hat is warm enough for a frozen Minnesota morning and if temps are just above zero, the ear flaps can be moved up.

$16 .95

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#35

My Feet Are Hiding Camo Funny Socks

There's no such thing as a limit on how many times a Midwestern dad can tell the joke on the cuff of these socks. They're camo, they're ripe for the punning, and they'll activate this dad joke spidey-sense the moment he puts them on.

$9 .99

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#36

American Flag

From Memorial Day to Labor Day there's only one way to show the team you're rooting for, and that's with an American flag. This one is heavy-duty, rip-resistant and able to stand up to the toughest thunderstorms. It was made to fly from the porch at 3'x5' in size.

$18 .99

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#37

Realtree Camo Crocs

The Venn diagram of Midwesterners and people who make dad jokes is a circle so be warned: when you get a Midwest dude these Crocs he's gonna make A LOT of jokes about not being able to see his feet. Let him have his fun, he'll pick new puns eventually.

$44 .99

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#38

One Pound of Ranch Dressing

Ranch is to Midwesterners what ketchup is for all the other places in the USA, it goes on everything. From salad to pizza, eggs to fries, if you can't handle the ranch, leave the farm. A one-pound bottle should tide them over for at least the weekend.

$3 .13

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#39

Now That's What I Call Country Number Ones

If it ain't solid country gold then it's not getting played in the truck. Lucky for a Midwesterner, every track on this CD is solid gold, featuring names like Jason Aldean, Carrie Underwood, and Brad Paisley. And of all the folks you'll meet, Midwesterners are probably the most likely to still have CD players in their trucks.

$28 .34

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#40

Peanut Butter Buckeyes

The Ohio State University football team won't be the first thing a Midwesterner thinks of when they hear "Buckeyes" after chowing down on this pack of candy. They'll think, instead, of the chocolate-dipped peanut butter morsels in the box. There's 1lb of chocolate there, that's 35 buckeyes!

$35 .00

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#41

Classic Crock Pot Slow Cooker

First God created Heaven and Earth, then on the second day, he created the Crock-Pot. That's how much Midwesterners cherish this appliance, which can make everything from a roast to soup. This 8-quart model is a staple in every kitchen, and home just isn't home without it.

$89 .99

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#42

It's Called Pop Not Soda PopSocket

People who call it pop instead of soda are a dying breed, there was a study recently that said that. It's up to a Midwesterner with this PopSocket (not SodaSocket, geez louise) to bring it back. Are they up to the challenge? You betcha they are.

$14 .99

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#43

Bass Pro Shops Gift Card

If you can't get it at Bass Pro Shop, is it even worth buying? This gift card to the store is like a Golden Ticket for a Midwesterner who loves the great outdoors. Use it online or take them to a retail store and set them free, they'll probably come back to you...eventually.

$50 .00

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#44

Stanley Quencher 40oz Tumbler

This is it, it's THE tumbler. The Stanley tumbler transforms Midwestern women from chill babes who say, "Ope, lemme schooch right past ya," into vicious tigers that use their manicures as weapons. Is it really that good? It is. It'll survive a car fire and keep your beverage cold. It's worth brawling over.

$72 .40

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#45

Sunflower Seeds

Little League games just wouldn't be the same without a drove of dads spitting out sunflower seed husks as they yelled at umpires. Help them carry on a summer tradition with this big bag of only the biggest salted and roasted sunflower seeds. And hey, great source of protein!

$28 .25

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#46

Gray Wolf Hunting Knife Holder

You'll see a lot of three-wolf moon tees in the Midwest, and so you'll find a lot of guys who find this distinctive knife and cradle quite appealing. The wolf is hunting and across his back is an engraved steel blade. It's sharp and functional, so it can be used to prepare dinner and decorate the living room.

$32 .95

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