25 Hilarious Gifts For Karens That She Won't Write a Scathing Review About

Updated: Sep 10 2022

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If you want to speak to a manager about this list of gifts for Karens, hold the phone, we ARE the managers. Sorry, Aunt Karen, you might be one of the cool ones, but this one's for all the pearl-clutching, loudly-screeching, personally-offended Karens roaming the suburban streets in sensible wedges and minivans. Her transformation from neighborhood nightmare to Karen with a capital K will be complete when you treat her to any of these kid-detested, HOA-approved gifts. From her fashion to her home decor, methods of spying to treats to use when she's feeling "so bad" on girl's night, after tearing the paper from these presents she'll be one haircut away from being platinum blonde and hell on wheels. Just ask her sons Kyle and Chad. And if you know a funny woman or want to poke a little fun at your girlfriend, these double as perfect funny gifts for your girlfriend and might inspire some hilarious Halloween costume ideas.

The Book of Karen

When she's trying to use mindfulness to get out of a potentially sticky situation, she can turn to the Book of Karen. The activities for reactionary adults will tempt her fingers away from the 911 buttons she's tempted to click. Just make sure you give her the coloring book with a pen.

$11 .94

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Compact Binoculars with Night Vision

Any Karen worth her salt is going to measure the neighbor's grass with a ruler and spy on them from afar with a pair of compact binoculars equipped with night vision. Besides, what is the superior magnification on this pair good for if not ensuring people are complying with HOA standards?

$35 .99

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Karens in the Wild Coloring Book

She's not entitled, she's just right, and she doesn't know what's going on in his Karen's in the Wild coloring book. Poke a little fun at her manager-seeking nature with an artfully designed book that showcases her best (none that we can think of) and worst (haircut, sunglasses, sense of style, overt assholery, to name a few) attributes.

$12 .00

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Butt Lifting Black Leggings

You don't have to lose those last 5 pounds if you've got a pair of leggings that can make them disappear. These butt lifting black leggings will make a woman whose wardrobe consists of only shirts that hang down to mid-thigh look flattering. And since they're black, they can go with anything.

$14 .99

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30 Pound Bucket of Mayonnaise

It goes on her sandwiches, it's the key ingredient in her salads, and she can even use it to get rid of the lice in her children's hair. It's a 30-pound bucket of mayonnaise, and it's the vat of fatty white stuff that Karen didn't know she needed.

$131 .54

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Guzzle Buddy Wine Bottle Attachment

After a short day of not doing much besides yelling at her children's teachers, she's going to be ready for a glass, nay, an entire bottle of wine. With the Guzzle Buddy, she can turn the bottle into her own personal glass. And then, it's only one glass, she could have another.

$17 .99

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I'm Not Always a B*tch Funny Wine Glass

Karen isn't always a b*tch, wait, yes she is. For that 100% of times when she's acting her worst, she'll be doing so while sipping from this funny wine glass. And no, she won't get the joke on the front.

$16 .95

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Flik Me Bird Flipping Car Light

Flipping someone the bird on her drive home is a big ask, that finger's muscle is probably very tired from a hard day's work. Luckily, this car light will flip off anyone that happens to be driving poorly behind her. It's easy to install in her minivan window and accurately reflects her personality.

$49 .99

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Modern Boxed Wine Dispenser

When she's only buying Franzia but wants people to think she's buying fancier, this modern boxed wine dispenser will come in handy. The sleek stainless steel device has a 3L capacity and dispenses wine by the glass when she wants it. The wine inside stays fresh for up to six weeks after the first pour.

$98 .99

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#10

PortoVino Beach Wine Purse

Wine at the beach? It's like bringing a vacation to your vacation! With this unique beach wine purse, she won't be violating any rules about bringing glass into the sand. The purse holds up to two bottles of wine and keeps it insulated, hidden, and free from leaking.

$28 .99

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#11

Collapsible Trunk Organizer

Dashing from karate to soccer practice to dance recitals is no easy task, and she needs to keep everything straight. This collapsible trunk organizer can handle everything from pointe shoes to juice boxes. It's waterproof, easy to clean, and easy to strap down thanks to the included hardware.

$27 .99

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#12

iPhone Lens Kit

It's hard to find the best angle of a haircut and that makes almost everyone look like a Goomba from Mario, but she's going to try. With this iPhone lens kit, it'll be a lot easier. There are nine lenses and the kit that clip to her phone with ease and pack up nicely in a storage box.

$26 .99

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#13

Hands Free Cell Phone Holder

When she's having a totally inappropriate headphone-free FaceTime call with one of the girls while she's shopping at Costco, she'll have both paws free to swipe giant boxes of snacks on the shelves with this cell phone holder around her neck. Bonus: it holds the phone at an angle that prevents text neck.

$21 .99

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#14

Crossbody Cell Phone Holder

She can draw her phone faster than Wyatt Earp can draw a gun, but sometimes that speed comes at a price. Even if her hands slipped from her device, with this crossbody cell phone holder adhered to her phone, she'll never have to worry about dropping it and shattering the screen.

$7 .99

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#15

Minions Merch

The world may never understand what inexplicably draws middle-aged suburban women to Minions, but it is what it is. From shot glasses to pillows, and silly hats to wall decor, if you want to make a Karen smile and get in her good graces, give her some Minions merch.

$25 .99

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#16

Tweexy Wearable Nail Polish Holder

Next to spilling wine, spilling nail polish is one of the worst things that can happen to Karen. With the Tweexy on her fingers, that will be a worry of the past. The petite silicone accessory cradles a vial of nail polish perfectly so it will never spill or tip.

$9 .99

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#17

Ultimate Backseat Organizer

If her kids want to continue to live a good life, they know that they should not mess up the back of her Toyota Sienna. Spare the children by treating her to these easy-to-install ultimate backseat organizers, where they can keep their snacks, drinks, phone, iPad, toys, and much much more.

$9 .99

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#18

The Wine Wand Filter

If you thought she was bad as is, you do not want to encounter Karen with a hangover. With the Wine Wand in hand, she can give her drink a stir and remove the histamines and sulfites that cause her allergies to fire up and give her a hangover. It's a gift for anyone who lives in her house.

$24 .99

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#19

Megaphone Bullhorn Speaker

She's known for being a screechy windbag but when she really needs to make a point, she'll be glad to have this megaphone speaker in hand. The bullhorn is equipped with a siren to further help her get attention and has an impressive 800 yard range.

$24 .99

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#20

Margarita Maker

When she's feeling "so bad" she and the girls will have a great time whipping up to 2.5 pictures of frozen margaritas. This one delivers a drink that tastes like it's straight from the tiki bar, thanks to creating shaved ice rather than relying on crushed ice.

$319 .99

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#21

24-Pack of Diet Coke

When you pissed her off and need to make a peace offering, you'll be off to a great start when you show up with a 24-pack of Diet Coke. She doesn't drink water, to stay hydrated the only thing that passes by her lips are wine, coffee, and this sweet elixir of life.

$33 .99

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#22

Gel Manicure Starter Set

Somebody dial 911, Karen's cuticles are shredded! It's important to have a proper French manicure going at all times. With this gel manicure starter set, she doesn't have to make an appointment with her nail lady, she can take care of things at home. The kit contains everything she needs, even the gel curer and some starter colors.

$26 .99

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#23

Leopard Print Ponytail Hat

She's not like other moms, she doesn't wear those tired baseball caps that her husband does, she wears something with a little more personality. And this hat was made for women who like to tie their hair up and get sh*t done. It's got elastic on the back to make it easy to pull a pony through.

$24 .99

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#24

Plush Fuzzy Slippers

When she's scooting around the house on a Saturday morning doling out chores to the littles, her feet deserve to be snuggled up in pristine comfort. With these plush slippers around her tootsies, should be feeling so warm and fuzzy that she might do some of the chores herself.

$17 .99

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#25

Classic Karen Sunglasses

She might think that the light brown and light purple lenses in these classic Karen sunglasses hide her eye rolls, but she would be wrong. But isn't that the point? The stylish two set of glasses will flatter her face and can double as a headband to hold back her faux platinum locks.

$15 .29

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#26

Portable Ballet Flats

She's not the girl who's going to be caught dead in heels a second after the party ends. Karen needs to have these portable ballet flats tucked into her clutch at all times. They're available in over two dozen colors and roll up nicely to fit in the accompanying bag.

$16 .95

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#27

Rose Gold Apple Watch

It's a well-known fact that Karens draw power from anything that has a rose gold hue. With this Apple Watch on her wrist, she'll be unstoppable. From planning things with the girls to shooting off a quick text to 311 about the neighbors' (perfectly OK) party, the high-tech watch suits her tattletale lifestyle perfectly.

$117 .99

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#28

Birdie Personal Defense Alarm

When she's out in the world and afraid of something, like someone who rightfully told her she cut them in line at Starbucks, all she has to do is pull the pin on the Birdie to get the attention that she deserves. The personal defense alarm blares at 130 dB and has a strobe light to keep her safe.

$29 .95

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#29

Ring Doorbell Pro

When she's not using the Ring doorbell to try and impress the Internet with her generosity (a.k.a. giving the UPS driver expired Costco snacks), she'll be glad to have it so she knows when not to answer the door. The easy-to-install smart doorbell is good for security when not at home, and for avoiding solicitors.

$199 .99

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#30

Cushionaire Platform Wedge Sandals

A tasteful pair of wedges are a must in any Karen's wardrobe, they let her lie about how tall she is. The Cushionaire platform sandal is so comfortable, that she'll never have to write a strongly worded letter to corporate to get her money back. She'll want to keep them, the memory foam insoles make them a shoo-in.

$39 .99

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#31

Amazon Alexa Echo Dot

Karen will love the Amazon Alexa dot because it's small enough that it won't throw off her carefully contrived decor scheme and smart enough that it can call the manager for her. It can also tell her the weather, turn on the coffee machine, help her set the thermostat, deliver the day's good news, and so much more.

$39 .99

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#32

The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey

When she's hashtagging #makingmoneymoves it's because she just finished this book by Dave Ramsey. A favorite of Karens everywhere, the book teaches her to take control of her money, build her money muscles, and ditch those MLMs for some true, surefire plans for making cash and paying off debt.

$14 .36

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#33

Big Pack of Orbit Gum

If you're ever unlucky enough to encounter a Karen that's a close talker, you'll wish you gave her this big pack of orbit gum. No one wants to experience coffee breath tinged with a hint of the cigarette she lit up behind the backyard shed that she swore she stopped smoking 20 years ago.

$15 .52

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#34

Rhinestone Phone Case

Your rhinestone cowgirl Karen will feel like she's walking around naked if her phone case isn't bedazzled to f*ck. Luckily, this one exists. The tiny gems are individually glued to the edge to ensure a long-lasting stick.

$9 .99

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#35

Designer Handbag

If it's leather, has a giant charm hanging off the front, and could conceivably be purchased on a hefty discount at TJ Maxx or Marshalls, Karen wants it. That's the designer bag that deserves to be in her collection of other designer bags that she's been hoarding in her closet for years.

$134 .99

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#36

A Ton of Hairspray

Adhering her helmet hair cut to her head every day is no easy task, but with a ton of hairspray, it's a lot easier. Aussie's Instant Freeze gives any helmet head a shiny but not greasy look that stays stuck all day. It can even stand up to high humidity.

$14 .99

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#37

Fifty Shades of Gray Trilogy

Her sex life is about as spicy as the unseasoned boneless skinless chicken breast that she bakes for dinner every night. Give her something questionable to lust after by treating her to be Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. She, along with millions of other women, will agree that Christian is "just so bad."

$20 .29

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#38

Wine Wipes Stain Removing Wipes

Part of being a Karen means being camera ready at all moments. When she's being filmed by someone for doing something insane, it would be a shame if her teeth were stained by the red wine she's drinking. Luckily, Wine Wipes will take all of the red out of her teeth and lips. She's camera ready in just a swipe.

$18 .99

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#39

Starbucks Gift Card

When you give her a Starbucks gift card for her birthday, you give her the opportunity to demand to speak to a manager on one of the best days of her year. It's something that shows you're truly in tune with the things she needs to make her life worth living.

$25 .00

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#40

Adjustable Bangle

Forget opening a Pandora's box, those bracelets were for Karens of the early aughts. She is a modern gal and she needs this adjustable bangle to show off her style. There are plenty of darling charms for her to add to the piece, which already features her birthstone.

$39 .00

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