27 Extremely Weird Gifts That Will Make You Question Everything

Realistic Dog Head Masks

So. You want to make an Instagram for your dog but you don't have a dog. Be your own dog with a realistic dog head mask. They're available in three different breeds, so really, you could have three different dogs. The high-quality latex masks are comfortable and breathable, so you could conceivably wear them on public transit (why not?).

$23 .99

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#2

The Scale of Things Giant Book

If you've ever heard of something and thought, "nah, it can't be that big/small," get ready to have your mind blown with The Scale of Things giant book. The book contains a selection of fascinating facts about the world's biggest and smallest things, all to scale.

$31 .00

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#3

The Cheese Printer

We hate to sound cheesy, but you look so gouda in that selfie printed on a piece of cheddar. JK! This box may not house an actual cheese printer, but it will house whatever hilarious item you decide to hide inside it.

$9 .99

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#4

Judgmental Maps Book

There are two kinds of people. People who judge people from other parts of town for absurd but valid reasons, like everyone who lives there has stupid mustaches and talks about developments in oat milk formulas, and liars. Be one of the people who speak the truth with the LOL-worthy Judgmental Maps book and get to know your city better.

$15 .13

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#5

But... You're a Horse Romance Novel

For real though, he's not even a centaur, which would make him half man half horse. That would be less weird, but everyone deserves love and every bookshelf deserves this book as its centerpiece.

$12 .99

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#6

Exotic Meats Beef Jerky

Stop getting stuck with boring snacks and stick to something more exciting with these exotic jerky meat sticks. From big game faves like elk to random bird jerky made from ostriches, the sticks are sure to tantalize your sense and tickle your fancy for adventure.

$27 .99

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#7

White Trash Cookbook

You haven't lived (through a zombie apocalypse, probably) until you've had White Trash food. This cookbook will teach you the ins and outs of making everything you never thought you could or really wanted to ever cook, like raccoon and possum.

$12 .99

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#8

World’s Lightest Solid Matter

Use it for a doorstop, use it to prop up a bookshelf, or use it to start a nerdy AF conversation with your friend by picking up the world's lightest solid matter. It's made of a carbon compound called graphene, which is totally safe, super strong, and unbelievably light as a feather.

$49 .99

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#9

The Worst Alphabet Book Ever Made

Anyone that's ever spoken English, regardless of whether it's as a first or second language, has gotten pTripped up over words like Pterodactyl. Treat a friend with a new baby to the worst alphabet book ever. Why? Because all the letters are silent.

$9 .51

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#10

Self Sustaining Ecosphere

This is the easiest plant you'll never have to water. Seriously. Open the box, put the self-sustaining ecosphere on your shelf, and watch it become a complete aquarium, complete with plant and algae life right before your eyes. This sphere of wonders uses NASA technology so you know it's legit.

$79 .99

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#11

Fish Sandals

You won't be dropping on the deck when you're flip-flopping with these fish sandals on your feed. The bass are anti-slip and anti-skid, so you won't go slipping around and they're softer than soft so you'll feel like you're walking on clouds.

$22 .99

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#12

Radioactive Uranium Ore

Maybe you're looking to power a time machine, maybe you're looking to cause an international incident, either way, you can achieve it with radioactive uranium ore. The dangerous but amazingly glow in the dark element is readily available for you to try to figure out how to refine.

$59 .95

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#13

Strange Flavored Soda

Skip the liquor, this strange flavored soda is more fun than any mixed drink will ever be. There are five flavors for you to sample and spit take, including buffalo wing, sweet corn, pumpkin pie, ranch dressing, and peanut butter and jelly. They're so bad they're good.

$27 .19

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#14

Giant Bread Loaf Pillow

There's nothing in this world you carb more about than bread, and you can show a baguette just how much you loaf it by wrapping your arms around this pillow. Clocking in at almost 3' long, the big bread makes for great lumbar support and is guaranteed to scare away nightmares.

$29 .68

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#15

Grown-Up Play-Doh Scents

When you're a kid, the smell of Play-Doh makes you go while. But as an adult, your tastes are more refined. Don't worry, grown-up Play-Doh is still there for you with scents like frappuccino latte, fresh-cut grass, grilling meat, and freshly washed jeans.

$9 .98

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#16

Bocarina Nose Flute

Link is going to be Awakening, and so will Zelda, to tell you to STFU when you start playing this Bocarina nose flute. The sounds it makes are unholy and will probably summon a demon you won't be able to get rid of, but it's all in good fun.

$31 .58

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#17

Winter Trapper Hat

You'll fit right in if you're planning to move above the Arctic Circle with this winter trapper hat wrapped around your noggin. It in no way suggests you're about to go on an organ-stealing spree, and instead, thanks to insulated material, a series of snaps and eye holes you can see through, suggests you just wanna take a cold walk.

$20 .99

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#18

Pimple Popping Toy

You can be Dr. Pimple Popper without the expensive degree (and YouTube channel, and TV show, but we digress) with this Pimple Popping toy. It's filled with real creamy goo, so every time you pop a pimple it feels legit.

$19 .99

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#19

Remote Control Crocodile Head

Playing with this RC crocodile head is one thing in a pool, but is entirely another if you have the balls to play with it on a golf course in Florida. The life-size floater will scare the f*ck out of anyone that happens to be near, so go ahead and have some fun with it.

$42 .88

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#20

Bread Loaf Slippers

Next time you're loafing around, your tootsies will be feeling toasty in these bread slippers. No longer will your baguettes be freezing off with every step you take, instead they'll be cradled in a soft foam. They'll leave you feeling sweet, not sourdough.

$13 .99

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#21

Licki Cat Hair Brush

Your friends might stage an intervention after they see you use the Licki Cat hair brush, but are they really your friends if they don't support your life decision to get super close to your cat? With it in your mouth, you can groom your cat just like mama cat used to.

$25 .00

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#22

Gourmet PB&J of the Month Club

Suck it, mom, your PB&J can't even hope to compare to the delicious sandwiches delivered as part of this Gourmet PB&J of the month club. Every month you'll be treated to a different delectable sandwich that'll have your mouth watering.

$468 .98

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#23

The Fart Vacuum

When you drop an SBD, suck it up before anyone's eyes start watering with The Fart Vacuum. The genius device uses the power of your hand to remove the smell of your rotten egg ass blast from the air.

$11 .99

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#24

Screaming Goat Toy and Book

Remember the trend a few years ago to replace part of Taylor Swift's songs with a goat scream? It's baaaaack! With this screaming goat toy and book, you can replace your boss' every business word (think "synergy" and "circleback") with the scream of a 4" tall goat. Oh, and learn some fun goat facts, too.

$7 .96

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#25

Unicorn Head Squirrel Feeder

Squirrels, being the bird feeder thieves that they are, deserve some penance for that crime. That penance is looking totally ridiculous while eating from this unicorn head feeder. In order to eat, they have to put their heads in the unicorn head, leaving you with the perfect photo op.

$19 .05

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#26

Giant Ten Pound Toblerone Bar

Call this bar a challenge and shout "ACCEPTED!" This giant ten-pound bar of Toblerone is the candy you love in the most ginormous of sizes. Can you eat each of the triangular pips in one setting? Pray for yourself and then find out.

$112 .99

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#27

Ingrown Toe Nail Correction Tool

It may look like a torture device but this oddity is your answer to toe nails that are pedicure worthy once again. You won't be scaring the aesthetician with your toesies after using this ingrown toe nail correction tool. It's perfect for runners and people who insist on wearing high heels daily.

$7 .97

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#28

Dad Bod Fanny Pack

Suns out, front-buns out, amirite dudes? Show off the beer bod while hiding the dad bod you've been working on all summer with this fanny pack. Just like dad's gut, it's super roomy (you can legit fit beer in it), covered in hair, and adjustable.

$13 .40

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#29

Picnic Table Squirrel Feeder

How rude of you not to invite the squirrels to your picnic! To make it up to them, you should get this miniaturized version and attach it to your fence. It's perfectly squirrel-sized and has an additional seat so a squirrel can bring a squirrel date to the picnic.

$19 .95

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#30

Crafting with Cat Hair Book

Explore your more creative side with your kitty with Crafting with Cat Hair. The book has dozens of fun ways for you to reuse the fuzz that your cat sheds every single day. No hairball has to go to waste.

$8 .00

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#31

The Poop Knife

Slice and dice your toilet snake lest you have to admit that it was you who clogged the pipes with your gargantuan crap. The poop knife is your key to keeping your dignity in tact after a night of drinking or eating way too much bread.

$14 .95

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#32

Denture Shaped Ice Tray

Enjoy whiskey on what looks like your little sister's nightguard with these denture-shaped ice cubes. The silicone tray makes them extra easy to release, and is in pink to match the color of gums.

$8 .99

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#33

Dwight Mask Sequin Flip Pillow

One side of this pillow is black sequins and even if that doesn't quite fit in with your bright decor, you might keep it that way. The other side is covered with the face of Dwight Schrute wearing a mask which is...sure something...

$12 .99

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#34

Portable Urinal Golf Club

Out on the course and need to take a wizz? The sand trap is not a litter box, class it up with this portable urinal golf club. Pretend you're taking a few practice swings and drop your load into the hollow club. Just don't forget which iron contains your gold.

$39 .99

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#35

Cat Butt Tissue Holder

When someone sneeze, blessum with a rectum with a tissue from this cat butt tissue holder. It's sculpted from resin that'll last basically forever, which is good, because a Kleenex holder this nice will become a family heirloom

$39 .99

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#36

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Give your favorite spinster something to do besides knit on their next day in drinking tea and watching Gilmore Girls for the 85th time with this crazy cat lady action figure. She's sure to love the figurine, which is highly articulated and comes with cats, and definitely won't be offended when you give it to her.

$15 .62

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#37

Life-Size Gummy Worm Python

By the time you're done eating this life-size gummy python, you'll have consumed so many sugary calories you'll never stop pumping iron. The cloying creature really is life-size and makes for a great snack you can hang around your neck to eat any time.

$114 .78

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#38

Gourmet Cricket Bites

Goldfish are the snack that smiles back, and you should consider yourself lucky these Gourmet Cricket Bites don't chirp back. The crickets come in three different flavors and believe it or not, are very good for you. They're chock full of lean protein.

$9 .95

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#39

Poop Like a Champion Cereal

When you're over the age of 35, staying regular is of utmost importance. With this cereal in your bowl every morning, the guys at the office will be able to set their watch by when you leave your desk to take a dump. Thanks to a hefty helping of fiber, you might wanna bring the Reader's Digest.

$13 .97

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#40

Butt Shaped Pillows

Now you lay you down to sleep, with your heat on booty meat. These butt-shaped pillows will make you feel like you don't live in your mother's basement or the apartment your ex took her name off the lease of. They're pert, perky, and wearing leggings that make them look and feel fiiiiiiiine AF.

$99 .00

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#41

Roast Beef Sandwich Bath Soak

You'll have the meats and the sweats after you dump this roast beef sandwich bath soak in the tub after a long day. It claims to be "Au Jus relaxing," and it is, with a world-famous scent and skin-soothing ingredients.

$17 .99

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#42

Unicorn Finger Puppet

Gallop your way across the table with the power of unicorns in your fingers with one of the weirdest finger puppets known to man. The only catch is that you have to give your mystical beast a name before your run across the table.

$6 .25

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#43

Potty Putter Toilet Time Golf Game

Instead of yelling FORE before you make your shot, you have to yell FART. That's the only rule that's different about toilet time golf. This tiny set is hilariously entertaining, and will have you going to the can even when you don't really need to "go."

$19 .99

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#44

The Original Bag of Poo

What looks like sh*t but tastes like sugary goodness? The Original Bag of Poo! It's brown, just like what you see in the bowl of your toilet after a heaping bowl of oats, but is actually cotton candy that'll have you fired up.

$9 .99

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#45

Classic Rubber Chicken Toy

There are some gifts that transcend weirdness into classics into icons and the rubber chicken is it. Which came first? The universe or the rubber chicken? No one knows, but you weren't meant to know, you were only meant to own one and join the flock of folks who have one.

$7 .99

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