37 Turd-rific Poop Gifts That Aren't As Crappy As They Look

Poop Coloring Book

You're going to want to break out all the brown colored pencils for this poop-themed coloring book. It's filled with crap and turds from cover to cover and guaranteed to inspire irreverent stress relief and hilarious relaxation.

$5 .99

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#2

Deeply Satisfying Poo Funny Sign

When you're taking the kind of dump that's practically orgasmic, communicate it to the other members of the house by putting this funny sign outside the bathroom door. No one will come knocking when they see the hilarious wet floor-style fine waiting there.

$9 .95

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#3

Don’t Step In The Poop Game

Like walking down a city street after a snowstorm, one skill that is pivotal for anyone to develop is the ability to avoid stepping in poop. You and your family can practice it with this hilarious game, where you're blindfolded and have to step through a minefield of squishy crap.

$39 .95

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#4

Everybody Poops 410 Pounds A Year

If ever there was a book that we get people to put their phone down in the bathroom, it would be this one. Learn such incredible facts as whether or not poop is flammable, why corn is in your pool instead of chicken, and where poop goes after you flush.

$1 .99

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#5

Shart Wipes

They say you should never trust a fart, and for good reason, you're more likely to get burned then you aren't. And when you do, shart wipes will be there for you. When the cannon was loaded with more than you expected, the soft wet wipes will help you clean up.

$6 .59

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#6

Poop Warning Bathroom Timer

When you've dropped a bomb so dirty that you're worried about being brought up on war crimes, you might want to use this poop warning bathroom timer. Just turn the red dial at the center to keep people from entering the bathroom and experiencing your anal terrorism.

$9 .99

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#7

Toilet Mini Golf

Your golf game might be crap now, but it'll be much better after you're able to practice it while crapping. With this toilet golf game, you can move the hole around, getting in tons of putting practice while you're pooping.

$9 .99

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#8

Pooping Man Condiment Bottle Topper

Make some messy magic on your next hot dog by it plastering it in something that looks like baby diarrhea straight from a butt hole. This LOL-funny bottle topper fits most standard-sized condiment bottles and is good for a lifetime of fun.

$8 .14

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#9

Shittens Disposable Wipes

When you really need to get in there and scrub every last iota of sh*t out of your butt crack, it's helpful to be able to use your fingers. With these disposable wipes, you can. They're a lifesaver for kids and adults alike and can be balled up for easy disposal. They're unscented and made with hypoallergenic ingredients, too

$37 .50

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#10

52 Things To Do While You Poo

There are only so many times you can refresh Instagram, and if you're stuck on at the porcelain throne taking a particularly powerful dump, you'll be glad you have this book. Inside, you'll find all kinds of activities and games to play while you're finishing your business.

$7 .99

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#11

Poop Soap Bars

If an upper decker is what it's called when you take a dump in somebody's toilet tank, what does that mean you call these poop soap bars? You probably don't want to know, but you have to admit that the fake poop soap is pretty amusing.

$9 .99

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#12

Poo-Pourri Master Crapsman Gift Set

When you've done some damage in the bathroom and need to repair it, look no further than the Master Crapsman gift set. It contains two bottles of Poo-Pourri, which you spritz on the water before doing your business. Enjoy the scent of cedarwood and citrus and eucalyptus and spearmint to mask what you've done.

$26 .99

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#13

The Doody Head Game

Engage in a little target practice with a friend by saddling up the doody head game. It challenges you to throw soft turds at their noggin and try to rack up points by hitting targets on the side and top of their head.

$16 .79

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#14

Kopi Luwak Coffee

You may have heard of a coffee crafted from poop, and this is it. Kopi Luwak is made from beans that are eaten, digested, and then pooped out by a small animal. The smooth coffee has a surprisingly complex aroma with hints of caramel and chocolate that you'll love.

$19 .99

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#15

Luxe Bidet Toilet Attachment

Make sure your butt crack is squeaky clean by skipping the wiping and going for a bidet instead. This toilet attachment requires no electricity or external water source to work and gently sprays your butt hole with water of varying temperatures and pressures of your choosing.

$45 .99

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#16

Pool Thermometer Floating Poop

One way to ensure that you have the pool all day yourself in the summer is by staging a "brown out". It's easy to do with this floating pool thermometer, which provides all the benefits of a regular pool thermometer and the idea that you might be swimming in someone's crap.

$9 .24

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#17

Play-Doh Poop Troop Gift Set

What has the same texture as a piece of crap but thankfully not the same temperature? That would be Play-Doh. The iconic child's toy has been turned into a fantastically crappy gift with this playset, which has all the goods to make 50 poopy characters complete with eyes, arms, and mouths.

$37 .90

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#18

Remote Control Poop

The laughter will be endless when you treat a kid to this remote control poop mobile. The tiny device is great for helping the dog get out some pent-up energy and includes a remote that allows you to steer with a joystick and press a button to make it fart.

$19 .50

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#19

Pop-Up Toilet Snake

Scare the crap out of someone going to take a dump in the middle of the night with a toilet snake of a different sort. Place this prank device under the lid and wait for their scream when it pops up as soon as they uncover the bowl.

$21 .99

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#20

Poo Pacalypse Funny Game

Build a pyramid of poo with your friends and family playing a card game perfect for immature people. Your brains will totally kerplop with laughter playing the bowel-busting game ideal for kids of all ages. Sabotage your pals with crap attacks as you battle to wear the crown of the Poo King.

$19 .99

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#21

Thought Provoking Questions To Answer While You Poop

A lot of people do their best thinking in the bathroom, and with this book positioned by your porcelain throne, your commode may as well be a Silicon Valley-level incubator. The thought-provoking questions on its pages will inspire creativity and ideas that are not crappy.

$9 .99

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#22

Pooping Puppies Puzzle

Enjoy an evening in with the family cackling over the imagery of this 101 Pooping Puppies jigsaw puzzle. There are 1000 pieces and a whole pack of dogs on display and "in the position." The completed size is 27"x19", quite eye-catching in any room, making it perfect to frame and hang.

$19 .09

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#23

Bag Of Poop Cotton Candy

When you've got a friend acting like a real bag of crap, they might just need a snack! Treat them to the original bag of poo. It's cotton candy with a fresh, delightful, black cherry flavor. What did you think it would be?

$9 .99

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#24

Sh*t Happens Socks

Next time you're taking a master crap in the bathroom and you've got your pants at your ankles, everyone will see these socks and know what you're doing. They speak the whole truth and nothing butt (pun intended), even though that truth is kind of gross.

$13 .00

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#25

8 Piece Fake Poop Set

The ultimate prankster shouldn't have to limit themselves to just one poop emoji lookalike in their collection, they need a whole bunch of fake poop to do their best work. Lucky for them, there are eight oddly shaped pieces in this kit.

$8 .99

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#26

Potty Piano

Be the Mozart with the mostest by tapping out tunes with your toes while you sit on the porcelain throne with the Potty Piano. It wraps around the base of your toilet just enough for you to reach the octave of keys. Why not write your own pooping jingle?

$14 .79

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#27

The Farting Poop Emoji Pen

Your boss will definitely not write you up when you show up to a very important meeting with the farting poop emoji pen. When you tap on the turd at the top of the writing device, it will make one of seven rip-roaring fart sounds that will amuse everyone in the room.

$14 .95

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#28

Pooping Butt Tea Infuser

This pooping butt tea infuser will suit anyone who is obsessed with bathroom humor to a T. The soft silicone infuser is perfect for use with loose-leaf teas and is easy to fill and clean. It's suitable for all sizes of mugs and glasses as well.

$7 .49

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#29

The Poop Knife

When you dropped a log that the pipes won't be able to handle, tackle your lumberjack-level shit with the poop knife. The plastic paddle can be used to slice through any thick turd, and is easy to clean with a quick whisk through the toilet water.

$14 .95

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#30

Prank Fake Bird Poop

Make your friend's car look like a Hitchcockian nightmare with a splash or 100 splashes of fake bird poop. Mix it up in some water and toss it on their car. It won't damage paint or fabrics at all and is easy to wash off.

$11 .98

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#31

Poop Emoji Jenga

You'll reminisce on those feelings of being on the cusp of taking a dump of a lifetime and waiting for that poo to fall out of your butt when you play this poop emoji Jenga game. It's exactly the same as the classic wood game, but with turd-shaped pieces.

$19 .98

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#32

Poop Shot Head Toss Game

Little kids or adults that have dipped into some 420 will enjoy this poop shot head toss game equally. Put the baskets on your head and throw the brown lumps at each other to see who's got the best aim.

$19 .99

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#33

Motion Sensor Toilet Night Light

When you're taking your nightly crap, make sure you don't fall in by lighting up your toilet bowl. This one is positioned just under the rim of the toilet seat and is available in a number of colors.

$9 .95

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#34

Poop Like A Champ Gummies

Some people take their pooping very seriously, and those that do will benefit from these gummies. They really will help you poop like a champ, with one serving containing almost 30% of your daily recommended amount of fiber. You'll be regular in no time.

$14 .99

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#35

Poop Emoji Hat

When you're having a shitty day, let the whole world know by wearing a hat that shows just what's on your mind. This 100% cotton poop emoji topper is smiling on the outside and if you look at it long enough, you might be too.

$11 .97

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#36

Runner's World How to Make Yourself Poop

Whether you're about to run a marathon or head out on a long road trip with pals, it can be really helpful to empty the tank. Inside this book, you'll find some tips to help get the intestinal engines firing and what to eat and drink to start pooping.

$11 .26

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#37

Wet Farts Potent Fart Spray

Ruin someone's entire day, maybe their entire week, with a potent fart spray that smells like concentrated ass. They might start off laughing but eventually will be gasping and running for their lives with just a few spritzes. It's non-toxic despite the way it smells.

$12 .99

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#38

Poop Emoji Slippers

Stepping into the slippers in the morning will be the one time you're not mad that your feet are sliding in crap. The laughable plush slippers are warm and cozy, just like a steaming pile of poop.

$19 .57

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#39

The Original Poop Emoji Stress Ball

There are a lot of imitators out there but there's only one original poop emoji stress ball and this is it. The palm size piece of crap has a medium firm consistency, which doctors will tell you is a good thing, and can be used for hand exercises and relieving stress.

$9 .87

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#40

Poop Emoji Dog Bag Holder

If there was ever a better place to put the plastic bags you use to pick up your dog's crap than this poop emoji bag holder, we haven't found it yet. The soft silicone holder makes it easy to tuck a roll of bags inside and clips to your leash or belt for easy carrying.

$6 .99

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#41

Edible Poop STEM Playset

A great way to get kids interested in science is by giving them a kit that will make them giggle. They'll love this edible poop chemistry set, which challenges them to make their own chocolates and candy and the shape of crap. They'll have 18 experiments to complete, and all of them are fascinating.

$39 .99

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#42

Big Book of Farty Facts

There's no better way to get a kid interested in reading than with a book full of facts that will make them giggle. With the Fantastic Flatulent Fart Brothers book, they'll become voracious readers, eating up the facts and silly illustrations on every page.

$8 .99

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#43

Poop Emoji Plunger

There's something fitting about plunging your toilet with the very thing that clogged it up. Next time you take a crap that your pipes just can't deal with, the poop emoji plunger will be there for you, smiling right back up at you.

$195 .03

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#44

Ceramic Poop Mug

When you wake up on Monday feeling like a steaming pile of crap, you can drink your coffee from a mug that also looks like a steaming pile of crap. Fill this ceramic poop mug to the brim, kinda like you do the toilet after a night of too much drinking.

$14 .99

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#45

Toilet Timer

When you're aiming for a record-breaking dump, it helps to know just how long you've been on the can. With the Toilet Timer, you can measure your time there in up to five-minute increments. It's also helpful if you need to get out of the bathroom quickly so no one wonders what you're doing.

$16 .99

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#46

Poop Emoji AirPod Case

You're not likely to lose your AirPods after you tuck the case into the silicone poop emoji outer case. It's so ridiculous that you'll want to show it off to your friends and look at it all the time. Plus, there's a keychain of sorts that you can use to attach it to your bag.

$8 .99

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#47

Chia Pet Poo Emoji

Is this what a vegan's poop looks like? Ponder that and more with the Chia pet poo emoji sitting on your shelf. Plant the seeds, water it, and wait a couple of days before the green hair starts to sprout.

$25 .06

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#48

Poop: A Natural History of the Unmentionable

Learn everything you wanted to know and more about poop from this adorably illustrated book. Poop has been around just about as long as the earth has, and you'll get to explore all the ways it's made a difference in the last 70 million years.

$7 .99

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#49

Squatty Potty Toilet Stool

The number one name in the game for helping people drop a deuce is the Squatty Potty. The toilet stool helps you align your colon and other inside parts to ensure a swift, complete, and painless pooping experience.

$24 .99

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#50

Shoot the Poop Game

Instead of shooting the sh*t with your friends, shoot the sh*t with your kids with the aptly named shoot the poop game. What's the goal? Easy, use the catapult to get as many turds in the toilet as you possibly can. Bank shots are allowed, unlike in real life.

$30 .99

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#51

Inflatable Holiday Poop Emoji

Wish everybody a crappy Christmas season by adorning your lawn with a poop emoji that looks a lot like Santa Claus. This oversized inflatable measures 4 feet in height, has rocks and sticks to keep him upright and steady, and has three LED bulbs to help him shine at night.

$69 .99

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#52

The Poop Boxer Pen

Make a sh*tty impression in your next meeting by showing up with the poop emoji boxer pen. While you're taking notes with the novelty writing device, you can pull a trigger in the back that will make it punch and fart.

$13 .95

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#53

Farting Plush Poop Emoji

You have to feel bad for the dog, because every time he squishes this farting plush poop emoji in his mouth, someone is going to blame him for doing something he didn't. He didn't pass any gas, he was just playing with the toy, which will also entertain kids to no end.

$12 .95

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#54

Potty Fisher Toilet Game

When your dump is taking an especially long time, it helps to have some good entertainment. With the Potty Fisher, you can try your hand at landing a great catch. Just put the included do not disturb sign on the door, drop your rod into the bowl and see how many of the five fish you can catch.

$19 .99

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#55

Poop Like a Champion Cereal

Start your day in the best sh*ttiest way possible with Poop Like a Champion Cereal. It's got 23g of fiber in each serving, which is almost your entire recommended daily fiber intake. When you're done munching, grab a magazine and head to the bathroom, it won't be long before you're taking a gold medal worthy dump.

$13 .97

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#56

Rainbow Poop Emoji Coffee Mug

Serve up some hot chocolate in this rainbow poop emoji coffee mug and your kid will be more excited to drink it than ever. The cute ceramic piece holds up to 20 ounces of their favorite beverage and has a lid to keep the beverage warm.

$15 .29

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#57

Poop the Game

Will you be the champion in poop the game? The goal, much like actually going to the bathroom, is to run out of poop (cards) the soonest. In a very clever move, the cards are made from 100% fiber that's biodegradable and compostable, just like poop.

$10 .00

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#58

Inflatable Poop Emoji Costume

Inflatable dinosaurs are so played out, go for a different emoji by wearing this on Halloween. The suit is perfect for adults who never stopped loving bathroom humor and comes with a fan to keep it inflated. There's a screen in front of their eyes to make it easy to see.

$47 .99

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#59

Everyone Poops

Contrary to popular belief, even girls poop. When it's time to start potty training a kiddo, this book can come in clutch. They're bound to have questions and be intimidated by not wearing a diaper, but the book makes it funny and easy to learn how to do their doody.

$12 .94

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#60

Poop Group Emoji Ball Gift Set

Make fun of someone who has a golf game that's absolute sh*t by giving them a three-pack of balls that's as crappy as their swing. Inside this box, they'll find two bearing the image of the poop emoji and one that looks like a smooth, round turd.

$14 .49

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#61

Pumpkin Spice Poop Emoji Nightlight

There are those that think that pumpkin spice is totally crap, and this farting pumpkin toy is for them. Give the squishy poop a smush and he'll reward you with seven different fart sounds. It's great for kids and adults with a silly sense of humor. Oh, and don't forget to turn him on to use as a nightlight.

$14 .95

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#62

Poop Emoji Cookie Cutter

You can call yourself the world's crappiest baker and mean it when you're making cookies with these poop emoji-inspired cutters. There are two in the package, one large and one small, and you can also use them to make cut out thumbprint cookies.

$7 .19

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#63

Honk If You Have to Poop Magnet

If someone blows by you in the right lane and their horn is a-honking, you'll know exactly why when you have this magnet on your bumper. Hey, we've all been there, and it's not exactly a pleasant situation. Just let them go before their driver's seat turns into a toilet.

$7 .49

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#64

Poop Emoji Pinata

When you feel like beating the crap out of someone, beat the crap out of an actual piece of crap with this poop emoji pinata, it'll feel better and be more legal. Depending on your audience, the paper party favor can be stuffed with up to 2 pounds of candy or nips of liquor.

$23 .99

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