25 Absurdly Funny Birthday Gifts That Are Worth Their Weight In LOLs

I Adulted! Stickers For Grown Ups

The older you get, the more Adulting you have to do and the more you want rewards for doing it. These stickers will make anyone that calls themself a millennial or Gen-Z smile. They're colorful and they make it laughably fun to do things like watering the plants or showing up on time to an event.

$8 .55

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#2

The NoPhone Air

Marvel at the newest technological wonder by showing off your NoPhone Air. It will never be stolen from your pocket or your bag, it never needs to be recharged, and the photos that it takes are absolutely impeccable. If Wonder Woman had a cell phone, this would be it.

$5 .99

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#3

Offensive Crayons Pack

Your more creative friends will have a blast doodling in their adult coloring books with a set of crayons to match. These crayons are not safe for children with colors like baby sh*t green and alcoholic piss. They are however good quality and the reason your pictures will be fridge-worthy.

$34 .99

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#4

Senior Moments Aging Disgracefully

Put on your bifocals and get ready to laugh at the comics and anecdotes in this bright book. This hilarious tome makes fun of losing battles against gravity, the highs and lows of old age, and senior moments that will make retirees giggle.

$10 .99

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#5

Embarrassing Prank Shipping Boxes

If you really want to get saucy with these prank shipping boxes, arrange for them to be sent to his mother's house, where he may be having his birthday party. They're available in several sizes and will be the reason that he has a lot of explaining to do.

$12 .22

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#6

The Book Of Unusual Knowledge

With age comes wisdom and you can get a head start on your friends by indulging in this book. The tome is full of all kinds of topics ranging from the universe to sports, and it's filled with articles, anecdotes, games, and more. There are 704 pages if you start reading now, you should be done by your next birthday.

$10 .00

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#7

The Cheese Printer

More cheese, yes, please! Spice up your next sandwich with a slice of American printed with your or your friend's face. Just kidding! But we had you going there for a second, didn't we? This is a prank gift box you can use to hide the real item that you're giving a friend for their birthday.

$9 .99

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#8

The Screaming Goat

When frustration spills over and you're not sure what else to do the Screaming Goat will come to your rescue. All you have to do is find a void and tap the button at the bottom to make him start shrieking. You'll feel your stress melt away in just seconds.

$7 .96

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#9

You're Only Old Once!: A Book for Obsolete Children

Dr. Seuss's charmingly funny picture book about getting old is a must-have for anyone who's feeling a bit stressed about reaching an age that qualifies as over-the-hill. For retirees, the elderly, or people that wake up with sore backs, the adorable book will make them be glad to take on their new journey.

$10 .79

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#10

Prank Money Wad

No one will say no to fat stacks of cash on their birthday, but as soon as your friend realized that these stacks are less fat and more crap, they might be a bit annoyed. This is motion picture money, but it makes a pretty convincing gift of cold hard cash at first glance.

$12 .99

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#11

Things That Can Kill You Funny Calendar

There's no better time to remind a friend of their imminent mortality than on their birthday. With Things That Can Kill You hanging on their wall, they'll be pleasantly afraid of just about everything, from falling coconuts to roller coasters to lawnmower accidents.

$14 .99

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#12

Endlessly Singing Prank Happy Birthday Card

There's another song that never ends and it has nothing to do with the Lambchop television show. This card sings the birthday song from the second it's opened until, well, forever. And if the recipient tries to rip it, it explodes in a cloud of glitter.

$14 .99

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#13

How to Make Money in Your Spare Time

The closer you get to being old, the more you wish you were retired. Enjoy a comical look at side hustles and how to make money quickly in the shadiest ways with this clever book. Taking advice from everyone from the mafia to politicians, it might land you in hot water, but what's life without risks?

$5 .99

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#14

Drawing Without Dignity Funny Board Game

Get a sitter for the kids and enjoy a grown-up game night with a game that challenges you to draw 670 questionable things. Polite company should not be invited, but your raunchiest pals should be to enjoy this Pictionary style drawing game.

$29 .99

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#15

Exotic Meat Jerky Sticks

Protein is an important part of a healthy diet and you can ensure that your guy is getting all the meat he needs with a multi-pack of jerky filled with flavors that he won't find at the gas station. There are 10 in this pack, which includes such delicacies as pheasant, venison, wild boar, kangaroo, and alligator.

$27 .99

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#16

The Worst Alphabet Book Ever Made

Make sure your kid never learns to read by treating them to the worst alphabet book ever. English is a bizarre language and its most curious and infuriating nuances are highlighted on every page of P is for Pterodactyl.

$9 .51

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#17

Nature's D*ck Pics Calendar

What could be more fun than waking up to mother nature is hard-on day after day. Nature's D*ck Pics is a totally safe-for-work calendar that features some of the natural world's most phallic wonders. They get into a measuring contest if they could, but you can be the judge about which one is biggest at the end of the year.

$19 .99

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#18

Darth Vader Snuggie

You'll have a hell of a time telling the dog that you're his father while dressed in this Darth Vader Snuggie. The Force will be with you as you fast forward through shows on OnDemand cuddled up in the floor-length fleece piece that's easy to take on and off.

$27 .10

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#19

Paper Tantrum Note Pad

It's your party and you can cry if you want to, but you can at least be subtle about it by writing down your feelings on the Paper Tantrum Note Pad. The sticky pad is a hilarious way to express your feelings when you don't feel like using your grown-up words.

$7 .25

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#20

Wacky Waving Inflatable Tube Guy

When 9PM has come and gone and everyone has left the party, this guy will still be ready to go. The dancing tube man is a favorite of used car lots everywhere and stands at about 18"tall. He's suitable for a desk or a bedside table and has some seriously enviable moves.

$11 .66

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#21

Redneck Life Funny Board Game

Skip monopoly on your next family game night and have a rootin', tootin', hollerin', good time with the Redneck Life board game. The game is suitable for ages 14 and up and takes about one to two hours to play. The goal? Have the most teeth remaining at the end of the game.

$26 .99

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#22

Inflatable Over the Hill Walker and Cane

It might not be time for the real deal but you can give someone who is officially over the hill a preview of what's to come up with this inflatable walker and cane set. Be careful, if they're too young, they might hit you over the head with the walker and cane, which measure almost 3 feet tall.

$15 .89

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#23

Scratch Off Naughty Birthday Card

Give your man what he really wants for his birthday, a blow job. But don't be so brash about it, make him work for it a little. Give him a quarter and this scratch-off naughty birthday card and watch him go to work. It's not a Ferrari but how can he say no to f*llatio?

$6 .99

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#24

Plush F Bomb

When there are tiny ears around and you can't drop the fourth letter words that you've grown so fond of as an adult, look no further than the F-bomb. The soft plush is 6.5 inches long and when you feel like screaming and swearing up a storm, you can safely throw it at the wall.

$14 .99

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#25

You Said You Wanted Nothing Gift Box

When a friend tells you that they want nothing for their birthday, do exactly what they requested. Treat them to this transparent box that contains nothing but air. How can they be mad when they said that's what they wanted?

$9 .95

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#26

The Toilet Timer Sand Clock

Make sure nobody comes knocking on when you're on the can by doing a sh*t and split with a little help from the Toilet Timer. The timer has five minutes of sand that drains from the top to the bottom and if you look closely, you'll see that the sitter is seemingly pooping into the bowl of the toilet.

$16 .99

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#27

30 Second Dance Party Button

If there’s a better place to break out a 30 second dance party than at a birthday party, we haven’t found it yet. One touch of this bright yellow button turns any situation into a fun one and provides the beat for a quick mood-enhancing jam session.

$24 .99

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#28

Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

If you've got a friend who's single and turning 30, make sure she's got a good sense of humor before you treat her to this action figure. The set is a glimpse of things to come and includes six cats and a wild-eyed spinster action figure. The action figure is articulated so she can pose it how she'd like.

$15 .62

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#29

Bob Ross Suit Jacket

Halloween isn't quite as exciting when you get to be a little older, but you can be the star of the show at your next party by wearing a suit jacket that looks like a Bob Ross painting. You'll notice some happy little trees and gorgeous mountains that will make you the talk of the affair.

$99 .99

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#30

Uh Oh Emergency Underpants

There comes a time in every person's life where trusting a fart is no longer advisable. If you made the mistake of relying on your ass to pass gas instead of something larger, these emergency underpants will certainly come in handy.

$7 .15

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#31

Dumpster Fire Candle

When it feels like life is spiraling out of control, lean into that turn! Light up the dumpster fire candle to exorcise all of the bad things from your life. The candle has a pleasant cedar scent and a 50 hour burn time that allows you plenty of time to meditate on how to change things up for the better.

$39 .97

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#32

The Gift Of Nothing

We all have that person in our lives who insist that you don't need to get them anything, that they have everything, and they don't want a present. Those people are called liars, but you can call their bluff with a gift of nothing.

$22 .98

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#33

Spring Loaded Glitter Bomb

Brighten your friend's day and give their carpet some sparkle that will last forever with a spring-loaded glitter bomb. The moment they pull the top off the canister will be the moment of their life changes. A massive cloud of glitter will explode coating everything in its radius.

$27 .99

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#34

Please Leave By 9 Banner

It's your party and you can throw people out of your house if you want to. Any millennial that gets invited to the party will feel this banner in their soul. Leaving by nine isn't just a courtesy, it's a must if you want to maintain good relations with a friend.

$10 .99

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#35

The Tortilla Blanket

When temperatures outside are making you go BRRRR wrap yourself up in a blanket that will make you look like a burrito. This tortilla blanket is cracked it from flannel printed on both sides with a delectable design. Choose from four sizes and get ready for some snack time snuggling.

$19 .99

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#36

Humping Animals Coloring Book

Revel in the carnal beauty of the natural world with a coloring book that puts animals in the act on full display. There are so many different kinds of animals caught in flagrante delicto, and you are sure to have a delightful time, dare we say in orgasmic time, coloring in the hilarious designs.

$5 .99

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#37

Farting Butt Bank

Saving money for retirement is fun when the bank farts along with every contribution you make. This bank stands at about 6 inches tall and is programmed to image six different fart noises every time you put a coin between its plastic cheeks.

$19 .99

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#38

Boxes In Boxes In Boxes Prank Gift Box

Get some of the excitement of opening a box on their birthday, which leads to another box, which leads to another box. Wait, how many boxes are there? Is there actually a present in here? Whether there is or not is only for the birthday boy to know.

$56 .99

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#39

Before and After 5 Glass

Two glasses in one makes drinking more fun. This combination of coffee mug and wine glass is your new best friend at happy hour and the crack of dawn hour. The glass holds about 10 inches of liquid on each side and is ideal for use during a conference call.

$19 .99

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#40

Poop Like a Champion Cereal

If your pipes are clogged consider this serial the plunger. And it's a super-powered plunger at that. By indulging in just one bowl a day, you'll be getting 84% of your daily fiber, improving digestion, and absorbing more nutrients. What does that mean? That you will be a gold medal pooper.

$13 .97

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#41

Find My Balls Funny Golf Towel

The only thing about your man that isn't shrinking is his age. This golf towel can't help him find his balls, but it can certainly help him dry them off after he's hit them into a hazard once again. The playful towel is available in several colors and arrives with a carabiner to clip to the golf cart or bag.

$7 .09

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#42

Memory Mints

Memory Mints are the tasty way to remember the thing you forgot you weren't supposed to forget. Made for senior moments, the tiny candies are shareable but so delicious you might want to keep them all for yourself and will stimulate a spark of memory with every bite.

$4 .94

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#43

The Beer Belt

Have fun telling the world you have a six-pack…without elaborating on exactly what you have a six-pack of. The beer belt makes it sound like you have an enviable body when in actuality you have an enviable selection of suds all to yourself. Let's be real, the beer is better than defined abs ever would be.

$14 .99

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#44

Aged To Perfection Whiskey Glass

You're not old, you're vintage and you've aged like the whiskey that you love to enjoy. Set a fine glass of your favorite beverage from this engraved 11-ounce rocks glass. It's great for showing off drinks like bourbon or cognac but works for any kind of liquor.

$9 .99

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#45

BevBuckle Belt Buckle Beer Holder

As a man ages, he needs to keep his hands free to gesture and gesticulate as he tells his stories to give them more flair. Ergo, he needs the BevBuckle. The buckle can be installed on his favorite belt and folds down to hold a bottle or can of beer while he talks with his hands.

$34 .95

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#46

The Pizza Blanket

When you want a *pizza* that food blanket action, look no further than this pepperoni-laden throw. The flannel blanket is lightweight and in available in four sizes. It looks so realistic, when you take a look at it your mouth will start to water.

$21 .23

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#47

Butt Putt Game

It doesn't matter if you're five or 50 years old, butts will always be funny. Enjoy a game of butt putt with the farting golf putter. You provide the club and the balls, and the number two putter will provide six different part noises every time you make a hole

$39 .95

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#48

Watch Ya Mouth Funny Board Game

If you've ever wondered what you and your friends will sound like when you replace your teeth for dentures, Watch Ya Mouth is the game to play. The hilarious party game is made for kids and adults and challenges you to make strange faces while trying to say common phrases that your fellow challengers will try to decipher.

$25 .99

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#49

Golden Toilet Mug

When you've reached that "middle management" phase of your life, you've earned the honor of drinking from the golden toilet mug. The oversized mug holds 10 ounces of liquid and makes a happy home for ice cream or cereal as well.

$19 .99

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#50

Blowin' Steam Funny Boxers

When you become an old guy, it becomes a habit to fart in random places like the hardware store or your daughter-in-law's baby shower. We don't make the rules, but this pair of hilarious and comfortable boxers certainly makes fun of them.

$17 .99

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#51

The Burrito Blanket

Turn yourself into a Quesa-ME-a with a blanket that looks like your favorite taco wrapper. The flannel blanket is super soft and available in four sizes ranging from 47 inches to 80 inches. The pattern is on both sides so no matter which way you wrap yourself you'll look like a burrito.

$19 .99

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#52

Colonel Corn Bottle Stopper

Is that a corn cob in your pocket or are you happy to see us? Colonel Corn is the a-maize-ing accessory that your collection of wine goodies has been waiting for. Don't let his slim willy fool you, he'll seal up a wine bottle nice and tight, keeping air from getting in that might spoil the beverage.

$14 .99

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#53

Personalized Fart Extinguisher Candles

Instead of letting Gramps clear out a room with one of his god-awful farts, light up this candle. The design on the front is all the encouragement you need to get it burning. It burns for roughly 100 hours and is available in several appealing scents.

$28 .99

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